Fertility and the reproductive system of the female body are my specialty. No, I am not a doctor, I am simply a female who has been dealing with secondary infertility for three years. I know more about the cycle and process of getting pregnant and staying pregnant then I ever thought possible.
I also knew going in to our insemination on Monday November 6th, 2006, that our chances of conceiving were slim to none. Or 12% if you want scientific fact. So when I plodded downstairs to take a pregnancy test on Wednesday November 22nd, 2006, I was fully expecting a BFN. That's Big Fat Negative to you fertile folk.
So for what seemed like the eleventy billionth time, I peed on a stick, placed it on the counter, and finished doing what I needed to do. I got up, turned to look (it wasn't even 30 seconds later) and there it was. A BFP. (Big F-ing Positive. Cause at this point, you use the F word). I couldn't even believe my own eyes. I swear I stood there looking at it for at least three hours. But it was only a few minutes. After years of trying and a solid 5 months of poking, prodding, and various medical crapola, we had effing done it!! 12% chance of getting pregnant on the first try and lo and EFFING behold, we did it!!!
I raced upstairs to my still-sleeping husband (have I mentioned it was 6:00 AM?) and threw the lights on. By this time I am a blubbering idiot. "WE FREAKING DID IT!!" I am screaming at the poor guy, who is still trying to adjust to the overhead glare. "HOLY SHIT! We freaking did it!!" Chris had a huge grin on his face, he looked at the stick and said "Well look at that."
Fast forward to 7:00 AM when I made him take me to CVS to buy another test. I bought a two-pack and thank the good Lord above that I did, cause I screwed the first one up. Yeah, yeah, don't ask me how, I just DID. So now I had to wait until I had to pee again to take the last one. It was a digital test, and the word "PREGNANT" came up within thirty seconds.
We did it. We effin did it.