Tuesday, April 19, 2011

It's Commonly Referred to as "The Sun". Also Month 4 Reflections.

Sunday was a super-fantastic day at our house.  I say super-fantastic because the SUN! WAS! SHINING! and the kids were out in it ALL! DAY! LONG!

I'm so thankful that the kids have made really good friends in the neighborhood.  Kids that I like them hanging out with.  Kids that are polite, and kind, and that love to be outside as much as they do.  Chris and I were referred to as "Mr. and Mrs. H" this weekend by one of J's friends and I about died.  I simply told her "you can call me Christina" and she said "ok Mrs. H!"  Oy.

Yesterday was a fundraiser for the elementary school that my kids go to at the local burger place - Burgerville.  Well, if I'm any kind of supportive mom, I HAD to go, right?  Of course we did.  Mondays are a hectic night in our house - with baseball and activities - so we usually have a quick dinner anyway.  Burgerville is nice in that it is local, and they use local and fresh foods.  So I felt good about that treat.  We topped it off with Timber Joey shakes (a salute to the Portland Timbers - our very own MLS team!) and the night was complete!

Today is exactly four months since we brought the kids home.  Four months of bonding, and learning each other and the rules, and love.  The kids are doing way better than we ever expected - I think that it is finally sinking in with J that this is her forever home and no matter how much they try and test us, we aren't sending them anywhere (well, except summer camp for a week). 

We've been through our first Christmas together, New Year's, J's birthday, and Spring Break.  They've bonded with their brother SO quickly that it amazes even me.  He's so good with them - not that I didn't think he wouldn't be, but they are 7 and 10 years younger than he is.  They love their grandparents and Skype with them often.  They've even Skyped with their Auntie M and cousin L (my younger sister and nephew). 

We have our monthly visit with our social worker today.  I read her last reports and at the end of each one, she writes "It is the observation of this worker that bonding is progressing well.  W & J appear to be stable in their adoptive home and are ready for the adoption to finalize.  It is this worker's recommendation that the placement of W & J with Chris and Christina continue".  

Wait until she hears about the fit from a week ago.  HA!

Monday, April 11, 2011

Two Wonderful.

Two things happened at our den this weekend.

1.  The kids slept in on Saturday morning for the first time.  EVER.  That is wonderful - and to be celebrated - because that means they are both finally feeling safe enough to sleep away!!!  And that made me feel good!

2.  W threw an EPIC (and I do mean EPIC) fit on Saturday.  All because we told him he had to do his chores before he played the Wii.  When he threw the fit, we grounded him from the Wii because of his reaction. 

I need to say that the kids do not have chores every day.  They don't even have them every weekend!  We do a cleaning in our home once every two weeks.  Why?  Because life is too short to be cleaning all the time (right about here is where my husband strokes out over that sentence - and the fact that *I* wrote it). 

So W's chores are:  clean the toilet, vaccuum the stairs (with the dustbuster), take out the recycles, and dust.  Granted, I make him clean the toilet about once a week (hey!  He's the one with the bad aim!) and he takes out the recycles when the bin gets full.  We're talking maybe a half hour of chores here. 

That he threw a fit over. 

So while he is cleaning the toilet, he's sobbing like I just kicked his puppy.  Chris goes into the bathroom and explains to him that tears do not get the toilet clean, and to please use the bleach wipes (I kid, he told him to dry it up).  He finishes that, and goes to his room, where I promptly tell him to go vac the stairs.  While he is sobbing.  He finishes that and goes to his room (are you catching the pattern?)  I tell him to go dust.  He starts sobbing again (I like kicking the puppy, ok?).  I asked him what his deal was, and he tells me those three little words that I will not let them use as a standard answer to me:  I don't know.

So I tell him to go ahead and sit on his bed for a while and think about it.

He does so.  While sobbing.

At this point (I know, you're feeling for the poor kid.  Has to dust - ugh!) Chris goes in and tries to reason with him (ha!) and explain the rules.  All the while, W is kicking and whining and yelling and scrunching up his face and THROWING. A. FIT.  Sigh.

Once we got through to him that throwing a fit would only delay the inevitable, and would not get him out of his chores, he started really laying it on thick.  So we sat him on his bed to figure it out and went back to what we were doing.

Eventually, the child finished his chores.  When I asked him if the fit was worth it, and showed him how little time it took to finish his chores and he could have been playing the Wii by now if he hadn't lost his shit, he told me he was sorry.  I accepted his apology, and gave him loves. 

Why is this a good thing?  Because he felt safe enough to let his feelings rage, roar, and generally show his ass because he knew that we would get him through it. 

Progress.  We're doing it right!