Sunday, May 29, 2005


Disappointment comes in many forms in our lives. When we are young, our worlds are crushed by the fact that we didn't get a particular toy, or that we didnt get to go to a certain birthday party.

In college, we are disappointed at the fact that not only do we HAVE to take a Poly-Sci class, but it happens to be at 8:00 in the morning.

As adults, we are disappointed by many things. Our jobs, our friends, our husbands, even our children. Disappointment is a way of life, but we never really get used to it.

Such is the situation that The Hub and I recently found ourselves in. After emotionally investing ourselves in a house that we were having built, and through no fault of our own, we found ourselves suddenly losing the house. It was a mathematical error on the part of the loan company, but nonetheless, we were still disappointed. We were thisclose to being homeowners in this beautiful town, and now we are back to square one.

I had been an emotional wreck for about a week, and bitterness and anger were left to creep in. I decided that I couldn't BE that emotional wreck, and that things had to progress. So I picked, myself up, brushed myself off, and moved on.

Ready for the next disappointment.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005


Sometimes I really, really hate that word. I don't want to be a grown-up. I want to be able to go back to bed in the morning. I don't want to go to work. I don't want to pay bills. I don't want to do what's right for our future.

I want to PLAY.

We were supposed to go to Maui this weekend. A nice, five day trip to the sun and fun that is the tropical isle. But instead, something with his work came up and now we can't go. So we are relegated to a quick two day trip to Phoenix. Which in and of itself is going to be nice too, we'll get to see some of our friends, and my son, but it's not Maui.

I need a nap.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Birthday Weekend Episode I: The Crash

So I threw my husband a 30th Birthday Bash this weekend. It all started on Thursday night when B, C and A flew in to kick the weekend off right. We stopped at a little pub downtown, The Princess Pub, and decided to have a little drink. Or two. Maybe some shots thrown in for good measure. And some darts. And maybe one more drink.

So we head home at about 11:30. We decide to play some Texas Hold 'Em. It gets down to the Hub and I at the table and we agree to split the money, cause we could have been there all night, and well, I wasn't in the mood.

Now it's time for bed. Only A isn't ready for bed. It's 2:00 a.m. and the boys have to be up in about three hours. They were headed out on a deep sea fishing trip first thing in the morning and the boat left at 6:30, with or without them. So we get A to bed. He's pretty drinky, cause he doesn't drinky very much anymore. He asks The Hub to put SportsCenter on for him, so he does, and then comes in and lays down.

Not even ten seconds later, we hear A yell about something on SportsCenter, and in the pitch dark of the house, drunk and not knowing the layout, he comes hauling balls into our room. He trips over the door jam and face plants into the corner of my bed. The Hub and I feel the bed shake, and he gets up and the convo goes something like this:

Hub: Dude, you alright?
Adam: Dude, I think I'm bleeding.
Hub: You're bleeding?
Adam: Yeah, I think I am.

So A goes to the bathroom and Hub gets up and turns on the lights. I get up and there is BLOOD EVERYWHERE. It is on my floor, and on my dresser, and on my comforter, and up my WALL. If this were an episode of CSI, we'd be going to jail fo' sho'. So I get a washcloth and start to clean it up. The Hub goes into the bathroom and I hear him say "Dude, you need stitches." And I hear A say "Nah, I'm alright." And I hear the Hub say "No, really, you need stitches." And I'm cleaning up the crime scene and thinking, MY GOD, it is 2:15 in the morning! On Cinco De Freaking Mayo. We're NEVER getting out of the ER tonight. So I go look.

A had a gash in his upper lip about an inch and a half long, with a piece of his lip hanging. And then, just below his nose on the same side, a two inch open gash. Where his teeth went through. So I get dressed and take the Banger Brothers to the ER. Surprisingly, there was only one other person ahead of him. They took him in, sewed him up, and we were off. We got home at about 4:00 a.m. I had literally been awake for 22 hours. I got him rested, and I got the Hub in bed, and I passed out.

For an hour, until I had to get up and make coffee and get the boys out the door.

It was going to be a long weekend.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

My Best Friend...

My husband turned 30 today. He has been in my life now for over 6 years and it has been some of the best years of my life. Don't get me wrong, we still have our arguments and disagreements and fights, but I wouldn't and couldn't see my life without him. He is, by far, the best thing that ever happened to me, after of course, the birth of my son.

The Hub and I met six years ago in a bar in Tempe, Arizona. He was 23, I was 27. I had gone through a divorce, and for the record, was NOT in the mood for a boyfriend, committment, whatever. Yup, I was looking for some ass. Call me crazy, call me a slut, but guys do it all the time.

I'll spare you the details, mainly because HE doesn't remember it right, ever, but we danced and laughed and he walked me to my car. When he asked me for my number, I told him I had a 4 year old son. He didn't even blink and said "OK". I gave him my number and we parted ways.

He called me the next day. And came and took me and my roommate out to lunch. And PAID for it. **sigh**

We made plans to go out again. He said to call him. I did, and got his answering machine. With a girl's voice on it. I'm sorry, let me repeat that **ahem** (bullhorn voice) With A GIRL'S voice on it.

Can you even imagine the conversation that went on between my roommate and I after that phone call? I left a message. I figured if he had a girlfriend, she needed to know what the dirty dog was up to. Hmph. I'll show him. I never expected to hear from him again.

But he called. And the voice? It was HIS roommate. Who wound up being one of my bridesmaid's, but I'm rushing ahead.

I'll spare you the details of the next six years, but I'll sum it up - we started dating, moved in together, built a house, got married, and moved to San Diego. In that order. With some other stuff thrown in for good measure.

And today, he gave up going to Happy Hour and a ballgame with some friends from work to spend his birthday with me.

His best friend.