Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Scars

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is

[Chorus:]I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

[Chorus]

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever come around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand

Go fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

Right Here Waiting

I know I've been mistaken
But just give me a break and see the changes that I've made
I've got some imperfections
But how can you collect them all and throw them in my face

But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting

I hope you're not intending
To be so condescending it's as much as i can take
and you're so independent
you just refuse to bend so I keep bending till I break
But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting

I've made a commitment
I'm willing to bleed for you
I needed fulfillment
I found what I need in you

Why can't you just forgive me
I don't want to relive all the mistakes I've made along the way
But I always find a way to keep you right here waiting
I always find the words to say to keep you right here waiting
But you always find a way
To keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if I chose to walk away would you be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep me right here waiting

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

It All Felt Good

Remember my Patience and Timing post? If not, just scroll on down to the post under this one, and you'll see what I am talking about.

Well, my patience has paid off. I landed what I am anticipating will be the most fun and exciting job I have had. Ever.

I am finally at the point in my career where I can, well, focus on MY career. For six years I have been following my husband around the country in pursuit of his career. He is now at a place he wants to be, in a position he wants to be in. Enough so, that we can finally turn our attention to me and my career.

I have always wanted a job that is fun, creative, and fulfilling. And until now, I didn't think that I could get all of that. I'm not saying it's all sunshine and roses, because no job is like that. What I am saying is that this job will allow me to express myself, and be very social, and plan PARTIES, which, if you are ANY friend of mine, know that's something I like to do. And if you ARE any friend of mine, then you have most likely attended one of my parties, and you know they can be pretty fun!

So my patience paid off, the timing couldn't be better. And when I accepted the job, it all felt good.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Patience and Timing

Patience and timing. Two things that inevidably go hand in hand more often than not. When you are waiting for something, be it an answer, a job, or the UPS man, it's all about patience and timing.

Right now I am in the throes of a full-fledged panic attack that I may have done more harm than good to my career by choosing my current assignment. I say assignment because it is a temp thing. I am not a permanent employee, and I have not pushed the issue to become permanent, even tho it is past the time when I was promised that I would. I am five weeks into this assignment.

And lo, on the horizon, is an opportunity that was just TOO good to pass up. The details of which can be summed up by saying "Right place, right time."

I have met with the powers that be regarding this opportunity. Twice. I am now waiting. Patiently.

OK, maybe not so patiently. What choice do I have, however, in a world where noone's sense of urgency is by any means greater than your own?

I sent a follow up email yesterday, since the key decision maker was out last week on a business trip. You know how that goes, out of sight, out of mind? So I put myself back IN mind.

And yet, here I still wait. Relying on another to help to springboard my career back on to the path where I want it to be.

Right now, I consider my career on a "holiday".