Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Reality Check Please!

We've been focusing a lot on little man lately.  He's been going through some stuff and we've been getting some testing and help and so on... and throughout it all, I've checked in with my daughter to make sure she doesn't feel like she's being forgotten or pushed aside.

She assures us she doesn't feel that way, that she's fine.  And I'm relatively assured that she is.  Still, I can't help but feel guilty that there's so much energy being directed at one child.  

It seems that, thankfully, our little man is finally getting to that light at the end of the tunnel.  I've been able to take a breath and turn our focus a bit more to my daughter.  

And just when I feel I've reached the tippy-top of my guilt, I get an email from her teacher that says this:

I wanted to let you know how wonderful Jordan is doing and what a great person she is.  She knows how to have fun while still staying focused on the work.  Always positive, always energetic; helping everyone.  I've never seen a hint of discouragement from her.  She constantly sets a great example for her classmates, because everyone loves her and falls in line with her focus on the assignment.  Please have her cloned as soon as you can.  Nice work!

There are times in a parent's life when your heart swells and you feel such pride at something that you had NO IDEA you were even doing.  The immense pressure and guilt I've put on myself feeling like I've been pushing my daughter off in an effort to deal with the load I've had with my little one has been notably self-inflicted.  Why are we so hard on ourselves as parents?  Why are we so self-flagellating, questioning and scolding ourselves when we don't feel like we have made the right choices?  I try very hard to be a laid-back parent, letting my kids navigate their way through choices and being there as a gently guiding hand.  

And when I get to see the positive fruits of my labor, it makes my day.  

Be assured, parents.  You're doing a good job.