Forgive me, because I am a bit giddy, so I may ramble.
Those of you who are reading this blog (yes, all THREE of you!) know that we have struggled mightily with infertility for well nigh about 6 years now. Struggled. I've been poked, prodded, bled, examined, had procedures done on me the likes of which no one should, and still I remain, with the exception of our one pregnancy, barren. I'm broken. The factory workers went home a long time ago and none of them want to come back. They're living on the dole and they're not going to work for peanuts. (A little infertility humour).
I first brought the idea of adopting up to my husband about two years ago. He asked me to try a little bit longer to get pregnant. I agreed. I prayed, and I told God a thing or two about how tired I was. I told Him that I needed some sort of sign. SOMETHING. Please tell me what Your plan is for us!
Then I thought about it. *I'M* adopted. My dad adopted me when I was younger. Oh sure, my mom is my mom, but he chose to take me on, and treat me NO differently than one of his own, and he adopted me.
And then I thought more about it. I didn't want to adopt internationally. Not when there are SO many children here locally that just need a family that will love them, and protect them, and provide them with the care and security that we know we can.
So I sent away for some information. And in return I received a DVD montage about adoption. And I cried like a baby throughout the entire show. Chris came upstairs to see why there was water dripping from the ceiling and sat there and watched it with me again. While I cried some more. And so did he. And then he said it. The words I had been waiting for God to imprint on his heart and spirit. "Let's go for it."
That was a few weeks ago.
This is now.
We've been accepted into the Oregon Foster Care Adoption program. I have a 2-inch binder with me at all times outlining the steps we need to take to prepare for our home study. It's filled with various paperwork we need to complete, and sign, and sometimes notarize. It's got a checklist of documents that we need copies of. We start our training classes next week. I've been to the post office to send off for our FBI background check. We meet with our family coordinator tomorrow to get a few more things signed.
It's been a long hard road, this process towards a Herren family. And me being the 'Type A' personality that I am, I'm blazing through getting all of the paperwork in order. Our counselor told us that most families complete the paperwork in about 8 weeks. 8 weeks? HA! I'll most likely have it done it TWO. And that includes the 51 page personal profile that EACH of us has to fill out. Are you listening dear? You have two weeks to finish it!
(He knows I'm kidding. He also knows I am the super-organized of the two of us, and just lets me do my thing. But he better get on that profile. No, really.)
And the outpouring of love and support that we have had from our family and friends has been, well, overwhelming. We didn't have a clue as to how any of them would react, heck, we didn't even speculate. I can truly say that it has been above and beyond what we ever could have imagined the support and cheerleading would be like. The people that we have chosen to surround ourselves with were good choices. And the ones that we asked to provide reference letters for us? They are our angels. They were all eager, willing and WONDERFUL about it. They're my heroes.
Of course, I'm at the mercy of the speed of the FBI and various government agencies performing our background investigations. But I'm praying. And telling God that I believe THIS is His plan for us. That I believe that He has had this in His mind for us since we started on this journey. That He knows that we would best be served by providing a good home for some children who wouldn't otherwise get that chance. That He is calling us for this purpose.
God always has a plan for us. It's just not always OUR plan. And I have made peace with that.