Three Months.

Wow.  It's been a while since I've update you all on how things are progressing!  I apologize - but MAN it's been a really busy month!!

On Friday, March 11, I had to drive to the coast to speak at our Regional Conference.  A good friend of ours offered to take the kids, since I was simply going for the night, and coming back early the next morning.  The kids had no school, so I planned on dropping them early and heading out - I was slated to speak at 2.

That morning, when I woke up and turned on the news, an earthquake had hit Japan (8.9) and had caused a 23ft Tsunami - wiping out large pieces of the island nation, and causing death and devastation.  It was a sad and scary time - and they were afraid that we were going to get Tsunami waves at our coast.  We had to wait it out, but long story short, there were no devastating waves hitting the Coast, and although we started late, the conference went off beautifully.

Sunday the kids and I walked the 5K in the Shamrock Run, while Chris ran it.  It was raining (shocker) but we all had a good time.

Spring Break found us taking a few days off to head to the Great Wolf Lodge in Washington, where we had an absolute BLAST.  I recommend that anyone take their children - it's so completely geared for them and so much fun.

We did some bowling, had family pictures taken, and then had to say good bye to Spring Break.

Back to school - and now the month is almost over.  Things are going well here.  We're all settling in.  W started baseball and seems to have a knack for hitting!  J is going back to gymnastics on the 4th.  Things are settling in.

Tomorrow is April Fool's Day.  Right now I have two bowls of cereal in the freezer - with milk, spoons already in!  When I get the kids up tomorrow, I'll pour a little more milk on top and laugh as they try and get the spoons out to eat!!  I can't wait!!!

Camping. And Camp. And Sleeping Away.

I've started to think about camping. 

And started to research sleepaway camps.

Some of my best childhood memories were those that I spent at Three Springs Farm in Pennsylvania.  I had such a great time hanging out with friends, running around on warm summer nights, riding horses, playing 'Murder' in the farmhouse, playing games in the converted barn, and swimming.  Every child should experience at least one week at sleep-away camp.  The memories are so worth it.  Bonus: Mom and Dad get a week to connect, sleep in late, and just BE together.

I found a sleep-away camp that is only an hour away.  I showed the kids, and they are STOKED!  Right?  I was thinking there might be some thoughts of missing us (they assured us they would) and being homesick (they looked at me like I'd lost my marbles) but it seems they're ok with the thought of it - for now.

Turns out that the place where Chris works sponsors a clean-up day at this camp!  So we're most likely going to volunteer to go assist in cleanup.  I want the kids to be involved in some community service anyway, and this will give us a chance to show the kids where they will be.  It will also let them see that we are only an hour away.

We're all very excited about this opportunity for them.  Now all that's left is to pick a week, register them, and count down the days!  I'm so excited for them.  I just know they're going to make memories that last a lifetime!

I enjoy the feedback...

Since I started chronicling our journey on this blog, I've had the sporadic comment or two. Or three. Those are easy to see. What you don't see, however, is the emails I get. I've always said that it is my goal in chronicling our journey to inspire someone to at least consider adoption. It's my ultimate goal to inspire someone to consider adopting from the foster care system.  The emails that I have received have been inspiring, complimentary, admiring, inquisitive, and altogether uplifting.  Mostly they've been curious as to our progress and our feelings as we move on down the road.

There are several pros and cons to adopting from the foster care system, this I will readily admit.  What I tire of hearing is those who have never been through the process that have an opinion about the child that will come from the system.  You know, the ones who have a 'friend/neighbor/dental assistant who swears that it's SO difficult and all of the children are damaged.' {insert GIANT eyeroll here}

{Pause while I find my eyes and roll them BACK into my head}

Yes, older children may tend to have issues or traumas that may need special care or attention.  They may have trouble attaching or bonding.  They may have difficulty trusting adults.  They may have anger issues. They may be in a place where there isn't much you think you could do for them.

I don't profess to be the authority on adoption from the foster care system in every state.  I don't even believe I'm the expert on adoption from Oregon.  This I do know: in this state, the adoptive parents get a choice.  They fill out a 'wish list' of sorts.  On this list are several 'issues' that a child could have, and you check off whether or not you feel you could or would be willing to deal with it.

Now you might want to sit down for this, because here's the big confession:  one of our children has a diagnosis that we both decided when we filled out our questionnaire that we would NOT be equipped to handle.  That's right - until we received the background on our children, we had made the choice that we wouldn't choose a child that had this diagnosis.

And then we saw W&J.  And we read their story.  And our hearts melted.

So what of this change of heart?  Well, we have at our disposal a myriad of assistance through the state.  Resources and help that we are free to take advantage of with amazing results.  We are smack in the middle of some assistance right now and coupled with the safe landing place we are creating for our child, there is remarkable progress being made.

I'm not here to guilt anyone into doing something they don't want to do.  I'm also not here to be lauded as a saint, or hailed as a person who stands above others in her morality.  I'm here as an example of what you can do, when you put your heart and mind into it.  I'm here to be a source of support and information for those who are considering this wonderful, crazy, bi-polar roller coaster of a journey that adoption can be.

Please continue to send me emails (link is in the right sidebar).  I respond to them all, and I love hearing how I've inspired someone, however I've done it.

You can also follow me on twitter - I'm @christinaherren.

2 Months.

Saturday marked two months since we brought our kids home.  In those two months, we've been steadily learning how to relate to each other, and how the rules work (which goes both ways).  W has an amazing sense of humor, and I find myself cracking up at him at the most odd moments.  It seems his favorite is dinnertime.  That's when we all sit down together and it's W's Comedy Hour.

J is navigating the social anxiety-ridden world that is fourth grade.  FOURTH!  When did the mean girls get younger?  I didn't have to deal with them until 6th grade.  I was hoping for a little more time.  The need to be popular and liked is so overwhelming.  I feel the angst for her when she describes it.  I remember what it was like when I was the flat-chested freckle-faced gangly girl that the other girls (and some of the boys - I'm looking at you Shawn Wirth!) made fun of.  I remember feeling like I didn't belong.  I remember my parents telling me it wouldn't matter in ten years.  What I wanted to scream to them was that it WASN'T in ten years RIGHT NOW!  And that was all that mattered - RIGHT NOW.  And I find myself telling her that when she goes to apply for college, they won't ask if she was popular, or the head cheerleader, or the prom queen.  They will be looking at her grades, and her community service, and her involvement.

And as we all know, I got that look.  The same look I am sure I gave my mother.  And in that instance, I understood.  It's all I can do to simply give her advice, and things to say.  And stand back, and let her navigate it like I had to.  On my own.  I turned out alright, and she will too.

Today we have our monthly visit with Miss Emily, our social worker.  Then I have to take the kids to the doctor for their annual physicals.  Seems they haven't seen a doctor in quite a while.  It was the same story with the dentist.  (Don't get me started).

Today She's 10.

My daughter turns 10 today.

My daughter.  The one who I just met two months ago.  The one we prayed for, wished for, grew in our hearts.  The one that makes me laugh, the one that is so smart, and funny, and artistic.  The one that is starting to be boy crazy.  The one I watch and guide while she navigates the ins and outs of the social system at school.

The one who is fiercely protective of her brother.  The one who is struggling to wrap her head around the fact that this is IT.  That we are her forever family, and that unlike when other 'foster' parents have told her that they were going to adopt her, we MEAN it.

The one who I watch when she's not looking, and learn her quirks, and ticks, and habits.  The one who I strive to bond with over shopping trips.  The one who has such a thick, curly head of hair, that it takes me an hour to straighten it.

The one who is starting to develop and find herself.  To see herself for the beautiful, smart and confident girl she can be.  The one who is realizing, slowly, that she has found her place.

The one I love.

Planes, Trains, and Parties

We're ramping up here in the den to have a busy busy weekend.

My mother and father in law fly in Thursday night, and meet the kids in person for the first time.  The kids are so excited!  I told them that since MeMaw and Pawpaw fly in so late that they have to take a nap after school.  They both eagerly agreed.  WHAT?

On Friday, we're having a small party with our family and close friends at the house.  The in-laws used to live here, so they have several friends here.

On Saturday, J has her birthday bash at a local entertainment venue here that has bowling, games, and fun! Oh and beer for the adults!! <-- double

On Sunday, we're headed to one of the best brunches in Portland, right on the Columbia river.

Monday the in-laws have to fly home.  Just a quickie little visit.  But I'm sure not the last one!

A peek into our weekend...

My weekend started on Thursday.  My {former} stepdaughter Ash came to town from Washington with her husband Jordan and their absolutely adorable baby boy.  They had tickets to the Celtics/Blazers game on Thursday, and I told them I would watch the baby while they went to the game, and that they could stay with us.  Jordan is in the Navy, and Ash just completed her schooling for her CNA.  They had a nice date night, and I got to play with the most adorable baby! 

My J was really trying to wrap her head around the relationships.  Ash is K's sister (my teenager), and since K is their brother, J finally said 'Oh!  So you're our sister too!'  It was so cute.  Before I could even correct her, Ashlee just said 'sure!  You can think of me as a big sister.'  Made me want to cry.  I thought it was SO big of her heart to say that.

Let me just tell you that their baby is SO good.  Even Chris was amazed at how good he is.  Smiling, laughing, sitting on the rug surrounded by toys, there isn't much that upsets this kid!  He's a good boy and they are truly blessed to have him.

Friday the kids had no school so I took a PTO day and made breakfast for everyone.  We got cleaned up and headed to the mall to walk around.  We ate lunch, and headed home.  I was making a nice family dinner for us of cesar salad, lasagna and garlic bread, and had left the sauce simmering while we were gone.  We came home to the most unbelieveable smells!  Delish!

W had a birthday party to attend, so daddy took him to that while Ash and Jordan went back to the mall for some things they decided to get.  I kept the baby, and J was outside playing with her friends.

Unfortunately, Ash and Jordan had to leave early Saturday, as Jordan had to report back for duty.  After they left, the kids woke up and we fed them and they headed outside.  If there's one thing those two love to do, it's play outside.  Which is great, because we've really had some great weather lately!

We gathered them up around 10:45 to head out and get some errands done.  We went to the Woodburn Outlets and bought them up some clothes.  Little Miss J scored at the Aeropostale store, while I hooked W up at the Gap.  I got some stuff at Tommy (my fave) and the whole family got matching shoes at Converse!

On the way home, we stopped at Famous Dave's BBQ for lunch.  Once we got home, the kids went outside to play for the rest of the afternoon.  When they came back in, we tucked them downstairs with the next Harry Potter installment (they've been watching the series) and let them watch that.

Sunday, we headed to church.  W was so excited about his spiffy new clothes.  He does like to dress up!  After church, we came home and dad went outside with the kids to do some yard work and I started laundry.

Chris and I have been discussing the need for a larger family vehicle, now that we have three kids (one being a 6' tall teenager).  We've been looking and keeping an eye out, and yesterday we found something.  After about three hours at the dealership, we drove home in a Pre-Owned Lincoln Navigator.  We got a screaming deal, WELL below Blue Book, and this car has EVERYTHING.  DVD Player, Navigation, heated and cooled seats, power everything.  It's honestly the nicest car we've ever owned.  We like it.

The kids were excited about the DVD player, and when we explained to them that it is NOT for trips to the grocery store, but for road trips, they were fine with it.

I have to say, overall, we have some pretty good kids.

Shopping. It's not just for the rich and famous! Bonding. It's a journey!

Chris took W to go register for baseball last night.  I decided to take little Miss J shopping!  I'm getting her to realize that sometimes it is FUN to treasure hunt at the Goodwill.  So off we went.

We walked into Goodwill and as we were going through the racks, I thought to myself 'Old Navy is right across the street.  And it's just about clearance time.'  So I looked at J and said "Let's go to Old Navy!"  She replied "Really?"  Sigh.  Their reactions sometimes still amaze me.  Then she proceeded to tell me that this was going to be 'the best day ever'.  Which would be fine.  Except any time we do ANYTHING that she likes, it's 'the best day ever'.  I'm struggling to get across to her that just because we go to the zoo, or go out to lunch, or order in pizza, or sign them up for gymnastics, doesn't make it the 'best day ever'. 

So while we were in the car, I told J "sweetie.  Dad and I are your parents.  Taking you shopping, and going out to lunch and going to the zoo are things that parents do with their children.  I need you to start telling yourself that this is it.  This is what a family is supposed to be like.  This is what a family does.  I know that you have had foster parents in the past tell you that they were going to adopt you, and then that fell through.  However, dad and I came into this process not to be foster parents.  We came into this process with the sole intention of adopting.  Now that you are here, it's ON!  Like Donkey Kong!"

J is having some problems with attachment.  She attaches for rewards.  In other words, she only shows affection when she gets something out of it.  She only engages with the family and gets excited when she is going to get something in return.  I know some of you may be nodding and saying 'um, yeah, so does my kid', but if you are the bio-parents of that kid, then it's different.  Trust me.

Case in point:  W will come up to us and give us hugs for no reason other than he just wants some affection at that time.  He willingly asks to help with chores, or carry things in from the car.  He engages with us, whether we are disciplining him or praising him.  Whether we are reading to him or we just smile across the room at him.

J will not do any of that.  She's the first to rush into the house from the car when we get home.  She only does chores when we ask her to, and only WHAT we ask her to do, nothing more.  We don't get hugs randomly, only when we've given her something.  She doesn't engage unless we make her.  When she is being disciplined, she gets a look on her face that definitely says: I really don't care what you have to say.  She disengages, and shuts down.  We can tell that there are times when she is only doing or saying what she thinks we want to see her do or hear her say. 

So we are working on reiterating that this is it, this is the final lap.  This is NOT her temporary home, it's where she belongs. 

I am hoping that my speech to her got through last night.  And all I can do is continue to reiterate to her that this is it. 

On a positive note - we're getting ready for her birthday bash!  She's going into the double digits and will be 10!  She's excited about her party, as are we.  Memaw and Papaw are flying up from Arizona and we're going to make a weekend out of it.  Should be a great time!

Mean Girls.

It was inevitable.  As is bound to happen in 4th grade, there was a little fracas yesterday involving the girls.  One girl was excluded and all the girls were talked to about cliques.  At lunch, a boy was made fun of, and once again, all of the girls were talked to about being mean.

When J got home, I asked her about it.  To her credit, the teacher did tell me that she stood up for her friend and is honest when the teacher asks her what happened.  We've been informed about a certain girl in J's class, and it seems she was at the center of the whole drama.

Chris and I were discussing it before talking with J and we agreed that back when we were in school, none of this would have been cause for the teacher to get involved.  The cliques were what they were.  I guess in the aftermath of tragedies like Columbine, school officials are tending to be a bit more cautious. 

We explained to J that we weren't going to tell her she couldn't hang out with this girl.  We want her to be the better person, to possibly have a positive influence on this girl, to be the leader in the right way.  I explained to her that being the mean girl is not the cool thing to do, and it won't get her anywhere in life.

Mean girls.  Sugar and spice and everything nice.  Or so you think.

One Month Today.

It's been exactly one month since we brought the kids home.  It's been one month of adjustments, tantrums, and exhaustion - and the kids are going through some stuff as well (bah dum dum!).

In all seriousness, the last three days have seemed to be easier.  That's the best way I can explain it.  It seems that we're getting how to communicate to and with them, and they're getting how the rules work around here.

We've established family nights, chores, routine.  The days go by much faster than they used to, but that's ok.

J got the book 'The Care and Keeping of You' from me last week.  I recommend it to ANYONE who has a daughter.  I'm not kidding.  RUN to Amazon and get this book.  Like yesterday.  I don't care that your daughter is nine months old.  Get it.  Now.
I read the entire thing before I gave it to her and I cannot recommend it enough - have I said that?  She is 9, will be 10 on 2/12, and it was timely.  She's a bit more on the mature side, she's my 10 year old going on 15.  There are a few things that we all fumble on explaining, and this book does it well, and with language that isn't condescending or patronizing.









I also bought this one:
I haven't read it yet, and she won't get it until her birthday.  But I've seen her moods strike already and I want her to understand what she's going through.












I also bought this one:

Mainly because I want her to make good choices.  She has a good foundation with us now on learning to make choices.  She hasn't always had that, and I want her to hear it coming from another source other than mom.  You know, cause I am about to enter the time in my life where 'I KNOW NOTHING'.

This one is another birthday present.








And finally:
She will FUH-LIP when she sees this one.  Chris and I have decided we may start letting her stay home for little bits at a time.  She's almost 10, which in Oregon is when kids are legally allowed to be home alone (one of, I believe, only three states that has a law about age).  She's already asked, and we might as well start getting her ready for it.  Like I said, she's more mature than a lot of the 9-10 year olds I've seen, and as long as she can prove herself, I think she'll do well.









W continues to crack me up.  He's got a very good sense of humour.  He also has a HUGE heart.  We were at a friend's house this weekend for a birthday party.  The kids were all playing in the playroom and one of the little girls fell.  He stopped what he was doing, went to her, and helped her up, all while saying 'you're ok!  Come on.'  I almost lost it.  What a sweetie.

That's not to say he can't be a Cranky McCrankerpants.  Oh brother when he doesn't get his way.

All in all, it's going well.  We're settling in.  We're figuring it out.  And, dare I say, we're successfully parenting two kids who deserve to have a stable family.

We're still here.

The Nerve. It has been stomped on.

Today was difficult.  When our kids had their TPR (Termination of Parental Rights) hearing on December 7th, we knew that their case worker had offered mediation to the bio-parents.  We also knew that we had the full support of the kid's case worker and OUR case worker that we could refuse to mediate.  I won't go into detail as to why, but trust me when I say, it was in the best interest of our kids.

Fast forward to today.  My cell phone rang and it was the mediator.  She read me the list of the bio-mom's 'demands' in mediation.  I had to really hold my tongue on quite a few of them, and then professionally, but calmly had to tell the mediator that we would NOT be mediating.  In other words, the b-mom could go pound sand.

I've spent the rest of the day in disbelief.  These children were taken away from you, not once, not twice, but THREE times because you couldn't properly take care of and protect them.  Then you had a year to get your act together, but you couldn't do that, could you?  And now you are 'demanding' things from me?  Yeah.  Good luck with that.

I was able to vent on a message board I frequent to some women who I love with all my heart and who have supported me throughout this whole process, and continue to support me still.  <-- pardon that ridiculous run on sentence!

I appreciated the kind words and, I won't lie, the stand in solidarity that I got from them.

And now here I sit.  Still shaking my head in disbelief.  Writing this little blurb as I listen to my husband go over our son's spelling words with him.  Knowing that our daughter is safely tucked in her bed writing in her journal.

And knowing, that we are doing the right thing.

What I've Learned So Far

I need to get one thing straight.

I am NOT a mommy blogger.

I am a mom who blogs.

I blog about our kids, and the process, and our triumphs, successes and defeats. I share our pains, and our joys with you, the general public, in hopes that one day, I can inspire, influence, and encourage. Adoption, particularly adoption through the Foster Care system, is a cause that is near and dear to my heart.

I've learned that there is NEVER enough information given to prospective parents. I've learned that you need to throw out everything you've ever imagined your family will be. I've learned that there is no magic button to assist with attachment. I've learned that children who have been through so many placements will enact coping mechanisms that will often surprise and sometimes shock you. I've learned that even the youngest child can be cynical. I've learned that the things that make me sad about the way that some adults treat our children is nothing compared to what I actually see.

I've learned that it is a thin line between love and hate, and sometimes children don't see that line, or they tend to confuse the two.

The biggest thing I've learned is that I'm still learning. And the biggest thing that has surprised me is that I have a capacity for love and a fierce protectiveness that extends to children that are not biologically mine.

I'm still learning.

Week Two: We're still here!!

The kids had some friends over last night and ran around the house playing, played Just Dance on the Wii, and J did our friend's daughter, A's hair. It was too cute.

The boys had a little scuffle, and we worked it out with them. We all got to bed a little later than normal and slept in this morning.

So what's going on in our household? Well, as you can imagine, we're still adjusting to each other. The kids are slowly learning that when mom and dad say something, they mean it. Whether we tell them that we WILL take them to go see Narnia (and we did that on Christmas Day), or that a consequence will happen to something they're doing, and it does. We know that we need to follow through, and that will show them that we love them, but we mean business when it comes to following the rules.

I want my kids to be prepared for this crazy world we live in - as prepared as anyone can be - and learn that there are consequences to your actions. Whether they be good or bad. And that words can hurt as much as actions. And that sometimes, you can't get exactly what you want in life.

I will tell you that I think we're doing ok so far. I've managed to keep my temper in check, even when being pushed to the limits (which believe it or not, HAS happened!). I've also learned that Chris and I NEED to make sure we make time for just us. Even if that means a few stolen moments upstairs to connect while the kids are downstairs watching a movie.

It's been an adjustment, but one that I think we are making strides on!

Day Four. Calm. Peace on Earth. And such as.

So the last three days were...interesting. We went to a household of FIVE in 3.4 seconds flat. And the chaos and the testing that accompanies it was just as...interesting.

Chris and I are learning about currency. What works, what doesn't. A certain someone does NOT like to be sent to sit on his bed in a time out. Bang! Found your currency. (For the record, we've had two instances of 'go sit on your bed until you can change your attitude and you are ready to join the family', and one instance of a complete meltdown in Target. Poor Chris. He got the first meltdown!)

Another certain someone has to know what we are doing every second of every day. I've been working with her to just go with the flow. And what I can and cannot tell her about what we may or may not do.

So this family is making it work. I think today was the first time that the little one realized we love him, but we certainly aren't going to put up with his attitude!

And now I must go. We're headed to the library for new cards and some books!

We're Home!

We pulled into the driveway at about 9:30 last night. We unloaded the cars, and got the kids tucked into a movie while Chris got ready for bed. He's working in the mornings this week and I'm working from home and then I'm working in the office in the afternoons. It's going to make it easier on us.

This morning we all slept in until 8. It was...interesting. I fed the kids, have a load of laundry started, and decided I would blog really quick. We had a small meltdown late last night, but nothing I couldn't handle. It's a lot of change for a couple of kids who have had nothing BUT and if I ever thought it would all be sunshine and rainbows, well then I should be smacked.

So I've officially become a sorta-kinda-almost stay at home mom. I get to stay home with them when they are home, but I will be working while they are in school. Best of both worlds I say.

On a positive note - all three kids bonded very quickly last night. The Boy is relishing the fact that he is being 'looked up to' and is taking the responsibility very seriously!

Today I have to finish laundry, and then go through all the kid's stuff - clothes, toys, etc. It's all sitting in our garage in boxes. We're going to make decisions on what to keep and what to toss or donate.

And that's all I've got for today. Just our little family - figuring each other out!

Tomorrow

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow our lives change forever. For good.

Tomorrow we add two children to our home.

Tomorrow we double our little family.

Tomorrow I become a mother of three.

Tomorrow my husband becomes a daddy.

Tomorrow we no longer have any spare bedrooms.

Tomorrow we fill our home with noise.

Tomorrow we double our laundry.

Tomorrow my oldest son becomes a big brother again.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow I will stop and thank God, again, for His guiding hand and blessings in our lives.

Tomorrow.

Update: December 13

So we had the kids all weekend! We had some challenges, as children are apt to do - they were testing our boundaries and what they could get away with. Especially miss J. She would very much like it if she could be in control all of the time. Given her history, she's had a bit of fast growing up to do. The good news is that she relaxed after a bit and let us be the parents and just enjoyed herself.

Friday after we picked them up and got home, (HOLY TRAFFIC!), we gave them the tour of the house and showed them their rooms. They absolutely LOVED them! Then we took them to the tree lighting in our downtown. They had a good time, and we were able to introduce them to a couple of our BEST friends.

Saturday was pouring rain. Buckets and buckets of rain. So much rain. More rain than should be necessary. Unfortunately, we had some errands to run. So we ran them. And daddy took them shopping for birthday presents for me, since we were going to celebrate my birthday on Saturday. I made some roasted chicken, roasted red potatoes, steamed broccoli and dinner rolls. They had all gone and gotten me an ice cream cake, so we opened presents, and had cake!

Sunday we woke up and it was a clear and windy day. We went to church, where the kids had a good time in their classes. Then we made the trek back to their foster parent's home. We dropped them off, picked up a bunch of their stuff, and headed to Eugene to make a quick stop at King Estate Winery - my favorite pinot gris! We did a little tasting, and bought some vino to add to our rack.

Chris and I decided to have dinner out, where we reviewed the entire weekend and what we had observed and how we needed to work together as a team.

The foster mom called me later and I asked her a few questions, she and I had a few laughs, compared notes, and hung up. I fell asleep. Hard.

Today we had our DHS Home Certification visit. We need a caregiver number to have the kids in the home.

This weekend will be the highlight of my year! The Boy flies in on Saturday, and the kids come home for good on Sunday!

Lots to do to finish prepping for the new arrivals!

The Price of the Kid's Rooms (Alternate Title: How we avoided eating ramen for a month!)

I've had a few people ask about what we eventually wound up spending on our kid's rooms, so I thought I would do a quick blog about it! You remember, I was lamenting the fact that just to outfit the rooms with furniture, we were looking at $2,000. And that was just for furniture.

So let's get started!

See this little pile of lumber?

That built two beds. Total cost, with hardware? $150.00.

With conditioner, stain, sandpaper and dry cloths? $80.00.

We turned it into two of these beauties:

Are you still with me?

I ordered both J and W's bedding from Overstock.com. Total cost for two sets? $122.00. Shipped. Her bedding was complete - with sheets and pillowcase.

His was only comforter and sham. So I had to buy him some sheets. At Target. On Black Friday. $15.00. Pillows? $7.00. Fuzzy red blanket? $15.00.

Alarm clock on his desk? $7.00. We already had the light, the desk and the chair. Score!

Rug on the floor? $29.00. IKEA! Mattress on the bed? $149 - IKEA!

Dresser? $59.00 - IKEA. Shelves? $39.00 - IKEA.

Total for W's bedroom, including linens? $496.00. LESS THAN $500!!

OK - now J's room. Same deal - lumber, stain, bedding, alarm clock, fuzzy blanket.

Her rug was $49.00 (IKEA) and we also had to buy her desk ($17 - IKEA) and her lamp ($39 - Toys R Us). We already had her dresser. Her shelves were $40.

Total for J? $492.00! Again - less than $500!

So for less than $1,000, we completely outfitted TWO bedrooms. Two mighty stylish bedrooms I might add.

And they are done. Assembled, decorated, cleaned and ready for two kids to come have the best memories possible.

I can barely wait until Friday!

Hustle Bustle...and a Merry Merry Christmas!

**Before you get started, you may want to grab a tissue. This warning sponsored by my girl Cheri.**

Wow was our weekend wonderful! (I just love alliteration, don't you?)

When we last left the Herren familia, we had just received a voice mail from our kids. We called them back, left a message, and then waited. And waited. And. Waited. I actually had to attend a work function for about two hours and could barely stand it. I was regularly texting my husband at home 'Did they call back yet?'

I got home around 7. Chris had gone out and put more lights up outside (this is our first FULL Christmas at the house. We moved in last year around November 20th and just did NOT have time to make it like we like it), and he wanted to take pictures, because we knew we were going to go see the kids on Sunday.

Then the phone rang. I yelled for Chris, but he didn't hear me. I knew he wouldn't be out there for any length of time, so I answered it. It was our daughter, J! Oh she was SO excited to talk to me, and talk about our family book! And ask SO MANY questions! Chris came back in about 20 seconds into the conversation, so he didn't miss much at all.

Needless to say, we talked to them for about an hour. It was an AMAZING conversation. They were so excited to meet us, and so overjoyed that we had been chosen as their family! We let them know that we would see them on Sunday, talked to their foster mom for a bit, and then hung up.

Saturday night, some of our VERY BEST friends threw us an adoption shower. To say that we were blessed is an understatement. They threw this thing together in a matter of a week, and as tight as things are for everyone, the kids got some really amazing things. We are SO THANKFUL for the blessings we received that night.

Sunday finally came and Chris and I were awake at 4:00 in the morning. The kids are about three hours away, and we wanted to make sure we were there in plenty of time to meet them, and hang out for a bit before we went to church.

We pulled into their little town about 8, and found the road (complete with a bridge) that we had to turn on. As we made our way up the mountain, we watched the GPS for the turn. But we really didn't have to do that, because they had made a sign at the turn that said "Mom and Dad! Turn here! Keep right!!"

Lost. It.

Over another bridge, and down a long driveway, and we had finally arrived!!! Our kids met us at the door and there was instant bonding. J asked me to French braid her hair for church. She LOVED her Christmas dress, as well as the necklace we bought her for the 'iecbreaker' gift.

W liked his cool argyle sweater vest (and put it on, because daddy had his argyle sweater on!). He also thought that the watch we brought him as his 'icebreaker' gift was awesome!

We attended their church with them, where we were introduced by both of them to all of their friends as 'mom and dad'. It was an emotional moment, as this community had rallied around these kids and prayed that they would be sent Christian parents. We were formally introduced during services (this church has about 50 members - it's a small town!), and the elders prayed over us, blessing us and the kids and our new family.

After church, we took the kids to 'town' to go see a movie. We took them to see Megaminds in 3D and we had a blast! Wanna see how cute they are?



(Disclosure: I'm able to post this picture, because their faces aren't easily identifiable)

We brought them back to their foster home, where we sat down and discussed transition. Since the kids bonded SO well to us right away (and why wouldn't they, we're awesome!), the foster parents told us that we could come get them on the 19th. J&W have a Christmas play that they are in that day, and we will go down, go to church, attend the play, and bring them home. For good.

Amazingly enough, my oldest son flies in for Christmas on the 18th. What perfect timing God has for us!!

So you may be asking - what about this weekend? Well... their foster mom drives a bus, and she will be bringing up the high school basketball team for a tournament this weekend, to a town about 1/2 hour from us. She's bringing the kids with her, and we will go pick them up, and keep them for the weekend!! Can you believe it? Again, God's amazing timing for us!

I'm so very excited about having them this weekend. And they are as well. I'm even more excited about the 19th. My house will be very full and very merry this Christmas!

Full circle. And God's AMAZING timing. And His Plan. All along.

He is so good.

The Voice Mail that Changed it All

Chris and I came home from work today, knowing that the kid's social worker was going to be telling them about us today, and presenting them with our family book.

I looked at our home phone and there it was, a message.

I played it. On speaker. It was J's voice - telling us that she thought the book was 'awesome' and that she can't wait to see us on Sunday. Her last sentence? "OK mom and dad....love you!"

We cried like babies. She sounded so happy and excited. And she has no idea how happy and excited we are as well.

Sunday can NOT come soon enough.

Christmas came early in the Herren house this year. Thank you Jesus.