A Little Vent - and an Update (near the end)

I started journaling about our adoption process in the hopes that it would eventually, someday, on a wing and a prayer, help someone else. At the very least, see what the process is. And at the most and in my wildest dreams - inspire someone to adopt.

I left the comments open so that anyone could post without having to register. I didn't want to be one of 'those blogs' that frustrates the casual reader because they don't have a Gmail account.

All of that had to change this weekend.

I made a comment on my last post about how I really want a girl, but that I know that Chris wants a boy. I went on to say that we were definitely getting two. It was an off-handed remark, and I was taken to task for it, accused of being 'cavalier' about adoption because they 'aren't dogs'.

Well, and excuse my language here, but no shit Sherlock.

Let me recap. Six years of fertility treatments. One devastating late cycle miscarriage. Months of being poked, prodded, injected, etc. Grieving the loss of that child that never was. Coming to terms with the decision to adopt. Having our lives completely analyzed and torn apart so that they can make sure we are suitable to adopt. Filling out massive amounts of paperwork, to include a FIFTY-ONE page personal profile. Background checks, fingerprints, CPS checks. Wanting to adopt a child from a system with a relatively HIGH level of special needs children.

Well, shoot! That certainly sounds cavalier to me!

Chris and I have been through hell and back with trying to start our own little family. We've prayed, cried, yelled, shaken our fists at God himself. We've fought, and grown closer, and our family and closest friends know our struggle. They've been there to support us.

So to have someone, an anonymous coward at that, comment on my blog about how cavalier I am? Well, of course first I was pissed.

Then I thought about it and started laughing. The last thing we are, is cavalier. I may have a sincerely dry sense of humour, but cavalier I am not.

With that being said, I want to keep the focus on the journey that we are taking to realize this dream of having a family of our own. So I had to put the comments on lockdown. You have to have a gmail account or be a registered Open ID user. I'm sorry to those of you who don't. It's crappy, but as they say - one bad apple.

And with that being said - I'll update you!

Chris and I had our couples interview on Thursday June 10. I think it went very well. We have our individual interviews on Thursday - mine is at 9, his is at 12:45. This is so that I can call him when I am done, and tell him what to say.

(To the anon poster - that was a joke. I figured I should point them out to you since you're apparently a Ruh-Tard*)

I'll update you when those are done! Thanks for reading!

*Total Hangover reference

Moving along...

We're back from vacation and glad that it's sunny today. Work today was really challenging. Really. Challenging. To the point where I feel like I may wake up and ask who shot JR. That challenging.

The one sunny bright spot in my day was a phone call from AGCI. Rebecca, specifically, telling us that everything is in, and we are going to start our home study! RIGHT ON! The BEST part of my day, bar none.

So here I sit, patiently waiting for a phone call from Emily, our social worker, to get the ball rolling. I am SO excited. We're one step closer to a little or two. I love littles. I especially love little girl littles. I had the privilege of spending the week at a school friend's house and I wanted to put her five year old in my pocket and take her home with us. LOVED her.

Then I got to see my other school friend Deana's 2.5 year old, Bella. Wanted to put her in my OTHER pocket and take her home with me. Yep, I've got baby girl fever. Oh boy. Or girl.

Chris wants a boy, I want a girl. We're definitely getting two.

Just In Time...To Leave

I sent in the last of our paperwork today. This included our 51 page personal profiles that Chris and I had to fill out. They asked all sorts of questions on everything from your childhood to your parenting style to the intimacy level in your marriage.

Yeah, that.

We had to fill them out separately, but we were allowed to compare our answers once we were through. It was AMAZING the similarities in our answers on many of the questions. And that's a good thing.

Saturday we leave for NJ to visit family and friends and to attend my 20-ish High School Reunion. I say 20-ish because I went to a REALLY small Christian High School. I graduated with 5 other people. No, that's NOT a typo. So we're having an all-school reunion of sorts. People are coming that went to the school up through 8th grade but may have gone on to public high school. And of the members of our graduating class, there are two confirmed. Me and one other.

It should be a good time. It's sunny and warm and I'm actually pretty excited to get out of town for a bit.

Reasons I Am Grateful Today

Wow. That's what I have to say after this weekend's very intense Foundations Training.

I am grateful that we were able to take the training with two wonderful social workers from Christian Family Adoptions. It may seem to some that it was a 'coincidence' that the training fell into place perfectly for our timing, but we know it was His plan.

I am grateful for the Foster/Adoptive mom and her 16 year old for coming to our training and talking to us from real life perspective.

I am grateful for the teen panel we had - one foster child and one foster-adopted child - who came to speak to us regarding the difficulties of being a foster child. And what NOT to do.

I am grateful that the heartbreaking stories that we had to hear this weekend did not break me. I am grateful that EACH of those stories has a happy ending, and that we will eventually be one of those happy endings.

I am grateful that I have a loving, supportive, fantastic husband. I am grateful that he makes me laugh, and that I know in my heart he will be a wonderful father. I am grateful that he wants to provide a loving home to the child or children that God has picked out for us.

I am grateful for being able to share this journey with you. And WE are especially grateful that we have the love and support of family and friends. Thank you.

Foundations Training and Real Life Collide

We have been going through state mandated training this weekend. When adopting through the State of Oregon, it's required that you attend the training that they gear towards foster parents. Our status once we are accepted and have our placement will be foster-to-adopt.

Today we had a foster/adoptive mom come in with her 16 year old to talk to us about her experience. She adopted EIGHT children, fostered over 40, and is an intake specialist for the state for babies. She has evaluated 132 babies for the state to determine what type of fostering they need - to what level. She also grew up in foster care since the age of 13 months.

Her 16 year old daughter was with her, who was placed with her when she was 2. The mom already had the girl's older brother and sister, and when the birth mom had come to them with the 2 year old and her younger sister and asked them to take them, she eventually said she would.

There were many questions we all had for her. One of which was the 'open adoption' concept. When you adopt, you mediate with the birth family that may want to maintain some semblance of contact (when safe and approved by the state) with the birth family. This could be grandparents, siblings, aunts, even the birth mom or dad. This woman is a firm advocate for open adoption, and has helped most of her kids maintain some sort of contact with members of their birth families.

This is an issue that Chris and I have struggled with understanding, until today. Today it was like a light bulb went off in my head. I have had the mindset of a parent of a child with whom I share custody with his father. In this arrangement, I am guaranteed time with my child, unsupervised. We co-parent, and my decisions when he is with me are up to me, and his father's decisions when he is with his father, are up to him. I had this idea in my head that if I allowed any type of contact with the birth family, that THIS was the type of arrangement we would have.

Then the mom said something that completely made it click for me. She said, "I am not a parent who got divorced and now I share custody. *I* am the parent. I do NOT co-parent. I decide when and where the visitation takes place. These people are not my best buds, they do not come to my house for visits. These are MY children. And if I feel that things are getting out of hand, I have no issue with getting up and leaving, and letting the family know that when they can get it together, they can have another visit." It made sense. It CLICKED in my head. It's like visitation with a distant relative that you only see every three or four years.

This mom is a liberal mom. She has a liberal visitation policy. And yet, she only schedules visits once or twice a year. MOST parents only agree to sending pictures and letters through a third party once a year.

One of our fears is that our kids will want to go live with their birth parents. But sitting in that room, and listening to this mom who was raised in foster care tell us that she KNEW her foster parents were her mom and dad, some of our fears were assuaged. She made the comment that family is memories, it's chicken pox, and vacations, and camping, and mission trips. It's soccer games, and dentist appointments, and bike rides. And the birth family doesn't get those memories.

It was a long day. Chris and I were exhausted and decided to go out to eat at a little Italian restaurant in downtown Beaverton. We talked about the things we have learned that have formed some of the decisions we have made about the kinds of children we will pursue. It was a great conversation, plied by wonderful Italian food and a bottle of chianti.

Paper Paper Paper Paper Paper WORK!

There is an inordinate amount of PAPER-WORK that needs to be completed before we even start our Home Study. I'm not being dramatic. I'm not exaggerating, I'm not even telling a little white lie.

It's challenging. It's daunting. It's a bit overwhelming at times. Today, I saw a flash, a glimmer, a slight blur of light at the end of that tunnel. Most of our paperWORK is done. Our family coordinator has been in Thailand on a missions trip. She came back yesterday. She had planned a follow-up call with us, even though we gave her a hard time about adjusting to the jet lag and time change.

I received an email from our social worker, Emily, telling us that Becky was unable to do the call due to, SURPRISE! The jet lag. I'm DY-ING to know what other paperwork has come in while she was gone. I've received my Oregon criminal check back, Chris has not. I want to know if all of our DCFS checks have come back from each of the states we've lived in since we were 18 (yeah - it was a long list. Shut it!)

This week is a busy week. We start our Foundations Training tomorrow night. 6-8. Then Friday 6-9, Saturday and Sunday 8-5. Foundations Training prepares you to be a foster parent, and the state requires those adopting from the foster care system to attend as well.

I also have a follow up appointment for my cats on Friday to get their booster set of immunizations. That should be a good time.

Next week is a pretty chill week. And then we leave for vacation!

Questions

A debate popped up on a message board I frequent recently about whether or not it is appropriate to inquire about an adopted child's heritage. As is custom on this particular message board, the thread reached two pages overnight. It's still going.

However, with my response on the topic and the responses of others, I figured I would blog about what may or may not be appropriate to ask. I don't seriously believe that most people ask out of maliciousness, or to be hurtful or mean. I also believe that there are those who do ask, mostly to be nosy, under the guise of 'idle curiousity'.

The level of inquiry appropriateness also belies in what your relationship with the family is. If you are close enough to say, have dinner at their house, then I would say (in MY opinion) that I would be willing to answer most questions. Notice I said 'most'. If you are family, I'll pretty much answer anything.

However, if you only see me in the pickup line at school everyday, please don't purport to think that you can sidle up to me and ask me what happened to our (future) child(ren)'s 'real' parents. For all intents and purposes, once the child(ren) are placed in our home, WE are their 'real' parents. We are parenting them. We are providing for them. We are loving them. That's what REAL parents do.

I've done a lot of reading on the subject of attachment and bonding. It's very important to understand that when you adopt children from foster care or even internationally from an orphanage, that the attachment issues will be there. They need to learn to look to you as more than just their 'caregiver', and it can sometimes be a long and arduous road. With these issues come identity issues. Even the simplest and most innocent of questions can hurt or upset a child. They grapple with trying to belong and fit in. And they worry that if they don't look like mommy and daddy, that someone is going to notice and make a big deal out of it. And as we know, most children do not like to be labeled as different or strange.

But back to the question at hand. Questions.

What's appropriate, what's not?

Q: How much did you pay/How much does it cost?
**We've actually gotten this question a lot. A lot, a LOT. I don't know when it became appropriate in our society to ask people how much they paid for ANYTHING, let alone a child. And for the record, we aren't buying our child, we're paying a fee to an agency to perform a service. A service that in my mind, is priceless. We pay them to help us navigate through the inordinate amount of paperwork that we have to fill out/notarize/obtain. We pay them to perform our Home Study, which is a requirement of any adoptive parent. How much we are paying, unless you are asking to help donate towards the cause, isn't really your business. On the flip side, most of the people that HAVE asked us, we are okay with sharing. Mostly family and VERY close friends.

Q: So you weren't able to have any of your own?
**To be fair, I haven't gotten this question. But I feel sorry for the person with the stones to ask me this. Really? I'm pretty sure that the birth certificate we receive when our adoption is final will show that we 'had' one of our own. Of course, the snarky girl in me would like to answer with this: "Yeah, the eight rounds of failed fertility treatment were so much fun, we’ll probably be heading back to the clinic as soon as this child, who isn’t our own, hits preschool."

But I don't think Chris would let me.

Q: Aren't you afraid her mother will want her back?
**I would answer that question with this: "Newsflash. Lifetime TV movies are NOT documentaries, coach." To answer YOUR question (cause you know you're wondering), in the State of Oregon, once the parent signs on the dotted line, or the judge brings down his gavel, it's a done deal. There's no cooling off period, nada.

So there's a little piece of what's not appropriate. What IS appropriate? Well, let's just play it safe and assume that if we've had you over for dinner, you can ask just about anything, and I'll most likely answer. With what amount of snark attached, well, let's just spin the wheel, shall we?

And if you've birthed me, or are related to me, or if I've married your relative - I'll probably answer.

Quickie

Not much to report today. We got confirmation from most of our references that they are sent back in! Yay for our awesome friends - they rock! Chris and I have all of the background and criminal checks in play. We have our physicals on Thursday. And our adoption training starts next week! Whoo hoo! We're rockin it!

And my husband keeps asking me where the pics are of the children. He wants to be a daddy so bad. I love him for that.

Also - went home at lunch today and got the mail and I received a copy of my State background check. With a huge APPROVED written all over it. LOVES it!

Government

Chris and I showed up to our class last night, only to learn that it will take us 8 weeks of one night a week classes to accomplish what we can in three days during the weekend of May 21.

In other news, I'm watching the news and there are two 'parents' that had been arrested for child abuse. One where the father was abusing the child and the mother stood by and let it happen. I want so badly to go through the TV and SHAKE that woman and ask her what the hell she was thinking.

Seriously.

A Little More About the Oregon Foster Adoption Program

Chris and I had our orientation call with our Social Worker about the Oregon Foster Adoption program today. I have been making it a habit to take notes during each call, and this was no exception. As a matter of fact, I took THREE pages of notes.

She went through the entire process, soup to nuts, about the in's and out's, up's and down's of the program.

We're both excited to start our adoption classes through the state tomorrow. Well, we were, until she told us that they will most likely scare the living crap out of us. Of course, it's up to them to prepare us for worst case scenario, and she warned us that they will.

Many of you have asked me about the timeline. Here it is, in rough outline:

1. Home Study completion (we're looking at around the end of June), and approval.

2. Start receiving bulletins of available children in the foster care system.

3. Choose a child or sibling group that we would like to present ourselves to committee for. (Did you get that?)

4. If chosen to be presented to committee, our Social Worker will be notified. If not, return to 3.

5. If chosen as the primary family, present family picture book to Case Worker (child's case worker).

6. Seven DAY BLACKOUT PERIOD. This one caught me off guard. The seven day blackout period is a week of whirlwind paperwork, processes, and procedures. Oh, and no contact with the child.

7. Once the blackout period is over, we can begin visitation with the child(ren). YAY!

8. Plan Transition into our home. This can go fast or slow, depending on the comfort level of the child(ren) we have chosen, and how fast their bond and trust of us forms.

9. Transition the child into our home! (YAY!)

10. Continue monthly visits with the Social Worker. Every three months, she writes a report to send to the State to confirm that things are progressing with bonding, adjustment, etc.

11. As early as 6 months, the social worker will then recommend finalization of the adoption.

12. Finalize Adoption! We can do this one of two ways - we can either have it all done by mail, or have a court ceremony whereby we travel to the county where the child originally resided, have a small ceremony in family court. Which one do you think THIS photog mom will choose? OH! And we can invite family and friends! I see a big party in our future!

13. Go home and be parentals. <-- best part!

We asked her how we could ensure that our Home Study went quickly. She gave us some tips and pointers on what she likes to see when she comes out. Basically making the home safe for a child. We have to print out an evacuation plan and post it on the fridge. How many of YOU have one of those? I didn't think so. And smoke detectors in each bedroom. Locked or put away medicines and firearms. I'm going to buy a gate for the stairs. And a fire extinguisher. On each floor.

She asked me about our arrangement with the Boy. I told her and she seemed pleased. She's going to probably interview him when she comes out in June.

Busy busy busy, but plugging along!

Kittehs

So we took the cats to the vet today to get their updated vaccines, and to get a letter of good health and confirmation of vaccines. We also asked the vet to make a comment on their temperament for the agency.

My boy was NOT happy. He shed enough hair to make three new cats. My girl calmed down after a while, but once the vet grabbed her, she was not having it. The vet pulled her mouth open and she HISSED at her! Sapphire has NEVER hissed at ANYONE!! So that was helpful. While we tried to convince the vet that she isn't like that, I wanted to just knock her out! HA!

So we got our bill of health, and confirmation that they would be suitable to be around children. Sheesh. Damn cat.

All God's Children International

Chris and I are using All God's Children International as our adoption agency. We are adopting through the State of Oregon Foster Care System, which we could conceivably do ourselves, without agency assistance. Let me tell you this though - I am HAPPILY writing that check to the agency for their fee. The amount of guidance and assistance and the complete organization that they have is worth every penny. And then some.

Today we drove to their offices to meet with one of the angels that works there. Her name is Rebecca. She has been key in guiding us through the paperwork process. We had to fill out some Oregon State paperwork for background and DCS checks. While there, we got to meet Emily, who will be our family support specialist, and most likely, our Social Worker performing our home study. They were all SO very nice and supportive. And Rebecca liked that I knocked out quite a bit of the paperwork already. Hello Type A.

We're looking forward to starting our training on Tuesday. It's all moving along so smoothly. I stopped and thanked God today for His saving grace and His love for us.

A.D.O.P.T.I.N.G.

Forgive me, because I am a bit giddy, so I may ramble.

Those of you who are reading this blog (yes, all THREE of you!) know that we have struggled mightily with infertility for well nigh about 6 years now. Struggled. I've been poked, prodded, bled, examined, had procedures done on me the likes of which no one should, and still I remain, with the exception of our one pregnancy, barren. I'm broken. The factory workers went home a long time ago and none of them want to come back. They're living on the dole and they're not going to work for peanuts. (A little infertility humour).

I first brought the idea of adopting up to my husband about two years ago. He asked me to try a little bit longer to get pregnant. I agreed. I prayed, and I told God a thing or two about how tired I was. I told Him that I needed some sort of sign. SOMETHING. Please tell me what Your plan is for us!

Then I thought about it. *I'M* adopted. My dad adopted me when I was younger. Oh sure, my mom is my mom, but he chose to take me on, and treat me NO differently than one of his own, and he adopted me.

And then I thought more about it. I didn't want to adopt internationally. Not when there are SO many children here locally that just need a family that will love them, and protect them, and provide them with the care and security that we know we can.

So I sent away for some information. And in return I received a DVD montage about adoption. And I cried like a baby throughout the entire show. Chris came upstairs to see why there was water dripping from the ceiling and sat there and watched it with me again. While I cried some more. And so did he. And then he said it. The words I had been waiting for God to imprint on his heart and spirit. "Let's go for it."

That was a few weeks ago.

This is now.

We've been accepted into the Oregon Foster Care Adoption program. I have a 2-inch binder with me at all times outlining the steps we need to take to prepare for our home study. It's filled with various paperwork we need to complete, and sign, and sometimes notarize. It's got a checklist of documents that we need copies of. We start our training classes next week. I've been to the post office to send off for our FBI background check. We meet with our family coordinator tomorrow to get a few more things signed.

It's been a long hard road, this process towards a Herren family. And me being the 'Type A' personality that I am, I'm blazing through getting all of the paperwork in order. Our counselor told us that most families complete the paperwork in about 8 weeks. 8 weeks? HA! I'll most likely have it done it TWO. And that includes the 51 page personal profile that EACH of us has to fill out. Are you listening dear? You have two weeks to finish it!

(He knows I'm kidding. He also knows I am the super-organized of the two of us, and just lets me do my thing. But he better get on that profile. No, really.)

And the outpouring of love and support that we have had from our family and friends has been, well, overwhelming. We didn't have a clue as to how any of them would react, heck, we didn't even speculate. I can truly say that it has been above and beyond what we ever could have imagined the support and cheerleading would be like. The people that we have chosen to surround ourselves with were good choices. And the ones that we asked to provide reference letters for us? They are our angels. They were all eager, willing and WONDERFUL about it. They're my heroes.

Of course, I'm at the mercy of the speed of the FBI and various government agencies performing our background investigations. But I'm praying. And telling God that I believe THIS is His plan for us. That I believe that He has had this in His mind for us since we started on this journey. That He knows that we would best be served by providing a good home for some children who wouldn't otherwise get that chance. That He is calling us for this purpose.

God always has a plan for us. It's just not always OUR plan. And I have made peace with that.

Horrible.

Me. Horrible. I can't even keep up the tiny bitty committment that I made to post to this thing once a week.

I have a good reason. I do. I just can't share it with the world proper for a few more weeks. No, I'm not pregnant. That chapter is closed.

We're settled into our new house and I absolutely LOVE my home. Really. I think out of all of the places we've lived and owned, this one is by far my absolute favorite. It used to be my 1958 little Connecticut house. But this 1969 split level with a walk out basement is doing it for me. I've lived in a brand new home that we built from the ground up and I am convinced after this purchase that I love old homes. I have a thing for them. They have character, and they're built WELL. I can't ever see myself buying new again, unless Chris and I win the lottery and build our dream home. At which time I will make SURE that it is built well.

We went to Home Depot and bought a raised cedar planter box last week so I could plant tomatoes, sugar snap peas, red and yellow bell peppers, cilantro (I could eat that stuff STRAIGHT off the stem!) and basil. I also bought two blueberry bushes. And now I'm reading that I most likely will not have fruit for 3-4 years! Whoops!

My mom and my sister have birthdays coming up this Sunday. Yes, both of them. On one day. I think they're both going to be 21.

And I have a baby shower to attend this Saturday. It seems everyone around me is getting pregnant. Almost like I am being tested. But as much as it may 'sting' for a minute, I'm ok. I'm happy for my friends, I really am.

And that's all I have. It's Friday and I am going home at 3.

Busy Times Ahead

I think I may have completely overscheduled Chris and myself this month. Well, it's not entirely my fault, but for the shortest month of the year, it's going to be a doozy.

This weekend is a wine event at one of the wineries we belong to, Willakenzie; a birthday party for a friend after that. Sunday is Superbowl - and we're headed to some friends' house for that.

Next weekend - Vancouver 2010. We're driving up on Friday, coming home on Sunday.

The weekend after that - Bon Jovi in Seattle.

Whew. Our cats are going to start thinking that we just don't live there anymore.

Prepare to Cry. Laughing.

I recently came across this - oldie but goodie - layman's translation of what happens when you take Alli. With the resurgence of the commercials, I thought I would repost. I literally cry from laughing so hard when I read this.

Enjoy!

Alli is a new over-the-counter weight-loss pill which, predictably enough, has proven to be a massive best-seller from the moment it became available. The drug, manufactured by GlaxoSmithKline, reportedly works by blocking the absorption of excess fats by the body. And folks are waddling, not walking, to their local drug stores for a chance to start on the Alli "program." As is the case with most drugs, Alli comes with a risk of certain side effects. Or, as they're known on the company website, treatment effects. A person is reportedly limited to 15 grams of fat per meal, and if they go over (or even if they don't), there's a significant chance they'll find themselves out behind a shopping center somewhere, crying and clutching a wad of horrifyingly soiled undergarments, searching for a place to ditch it.

As best as I can tell, anyway... Since a lot of this stuff is couched in language that is technically truthful, but very carefully worded, I've taken it upon myself to go through the list of side (treatment) effects and warnings, and translate it all into layman's terms.

I'm no scientist or doctor, and don't pretend to have any special knowledge. I'm just a person who's fairly good with words and reading between the lines... The highlighted phrases below are direct quotes from the Alli website, with my translations in between marked with **s.

Undigested fat cannot be absorbed and passes through the body naturally. The excess fat is not harmful. In fact, you may recognize it in the toilet as something that looks like the oil on top of a pizza.
**Here the drug makers are trying to soothe the nerves of the skeptical fatty, by speaking their language. Pizza is something fatties understand, and a big part of the reason they're interested in Alli to begin with. Pizza is good, pizza is reassuring...even when it's flowing from your ass like molten lava. The website mentions seeing the undigested fat in a toilet, but that's clearly a best case scenario. You might also see it on the tops of your shoes, across the hood of a car, or way up the shower curtain, near the loops.**

The fat passes out of your body, so you may have bowel changes, known as treatment effects. **Bowel changes. Notice how they phrase that? It means stuff will be happening the likes of which you could never have imagined. It'll be like a daily Dean Koontz novel inside your underwear.**

You may get: gas with oily spotting
**You'll be farting Wesson oil straight through your Dockers**

More frequent stools that may be hard to control
**all the time, with a sphincter that can no longer be counted as a friend.**

Eating a low-fat diet lowers the chance of these bowel changes. Limit fat intake in your meals to an average of 15 grams.
**The McDonalds Big Mac has 34 grams of fat, and the Burger King Whopper has 40. Eat either of these while taking Alli, and you'll very likely be transformed into a diarrhea cannon. **

Learning how to manage treatment effects is an important part of being successful with alli. Here's how to take control: Start trimming fat from your diet now, even before you begin taking alli. Then pick a day to begin taking alli, such as a weekend day so you can stay close to home if you experience a treatment effect. Make the timing work for you. If you're getting ready to travel or attend a social event, hold off on starting with alli until the event is over
**Blowing liquid feces down a row of bridesmaids, for instance, could be viewed negatively in certain circles. Further, an unexpected bout of the power-squirts while riding The Bullet at the county fair might not ingratiate you with your friends. Or anyone on the fairway. Or the folks in the parking lot walking to their cars. **

While no one likes experiencing treatment effects, they might help you think twice about eating questionable fat content. If you think of it like that, alli can act like a security guard for your late-night cravings
**You see, when you think about it, shitting yourself is actually a positive. **

You can't "save fat grams" from lunch and "spend them" at dinner. Spread your daily fat gram allowance of 15 grams on average per meal over the whole day
**Cheating can lead to embarrassment, tears, and the introduction of a frantically constructed toilet paper crack-wedge in the bathroom of an Applebee's. It's simply not worth it. **

You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work
**Until you get the hang of it, you should probably take along a rolling suitcase full of brown clothes everywhere you go, while taking Alli. Luckily, however, turd-colored clothing is in this season; turd is the new vomit. If co-workers ask about it, there is no shame in telling the truth. You might be surprised how understanding folks can be if you simply say, "I dress like this to conceal the poop that's constantly soaking through the seat of my pants." **

You may not usually get gassy, but it's a possibility when you take alli. The bathroom is really the best place to go when that happens
**Showboating is not recommended.**

You can use a food journal to recognize what foods can lead to treatment effects. For example, writing down what you eat may help you learn that marinara sauce is a better option than Alfredo sauce
**In addition to a handcart full of extra pants designed to camouflage your anal leakage, it might also be a good idea to carry a schematic and information wheel, so you don't repeat past mistakes and have a treatment effect halfway up your back.**

I hope this information has proven to be valuable.

Tax Craziness and New Ventures

It's tax season. Which means that I am not only hungover from the Holiday Season and moving, and all that came with that, but now I actually have to concentrate. I feel sorry for my CPA, he asks me things and I just look at him like I've never heard of a Form 990 or Prepaid Expenses.

Awesome.

On another front, I've decided to start doing a little venturing out on my own. I've put it out there that I am taking on contract bookkeeping gigs. I know, I just said that I have no clue about prepaids and why I have to book them, and I want to take care of other people's finances. HA! I'm kidding! I totally know what I'm doing.

No, really, I do. Quit laughing.

So I've made up business cards, and a flyer, and put together my business resume.

And I've signed my first client!

Awesome!

I've really been loving our new home. Chris and I have been working really hard to make it ours. We've made great choices in furniture, window treatments, and accessories. I know, I seriously have to get some pictures up here. It's hard for me sometimes when I am at home to decide which living room I want to sit in. The upstairs is our formal living, but has my "super chair" - an oversized, overstuffed armchair, with ottoman. I love that chair. The downstairs is our family room - and boasts a large down-filled sectional that is just plush.

My bedroom has become a literal sanctuary, and sometimes I like to lay in bed and watch TV in there, or read.

And that's all I really have this week. Some seriously random thoughts, but with substance, right?

Keeping my promise - once a week!

Mad Men. And four other things that made me smile this week.

1. I do love the show Mad Men. I also love that I can watch it on demand.

2. Everyone got double monitors at work this week. And they are LOVING them. Score!

3. We started a project in the downstairs bathroom. I think it will look fabulous when we are done.

4. I wrenched my neck and shoulder and have been having a hard time sleeping and, well, generally moving. My husband rubbed Tiger Balm on my neck and shoulder to help me feel better.

5. My clean house.

Sharing Cresmoor

I mentioned Cresmoor in my recap post and wanted to share pieces of her with you. Why is it that inanimate objects are more than likely female?

Anyway, here she is. Her front anyway.

And the kitchen. Good golly they did a great job.





These are MLS pictures. I need to get some pictures with OUR stuff. More later. I need to head to bed.

Struggling Today.

Whoa.

Yep, it's been a year. A year since I've been here. And to be honest, I am so glad that 2009 is over.

I can recap 09 in two words: Eff off.

In January, Chris and I went on a Mexican Riviera Cruise. We cruised with NCL, and honestly, it was meh.

In February, my husband had to relocate to Dallas to work at HQ. He would be stuck there for five months.

In April, I found out some potentially devastating news. It rocked me pretty bad and quite honestly, made me question a few things about myself and a couple of my relationships. I won't go into details, so please don't ask. The good news is that I am slowly but surely coming out of it. I haven't let it completely control my life, and I don't have that 'punched in the gut' feeling when I think about it anymore. Maybe a slap in the face, but definitely not a punch in the gut. I also had to move at the end of April into an apartment as my landlady wanted her house back.

In May, we went on a much, MUCH needed vacation with B&C and E&J to Puerto Vallarta. It was a week of bliss.

In July, we went to Cabo to attend my brother-in-law's wedding. THAT was a good time, despite the intense heat and humidity. It was also the Boy Child's first time in Mexico - and he had a blast. Chris also came home. He retired from Southwest, and took some much needed time off to decide what he wanted to be when he grew up.

In August, we took a little trip to Victoria, BC. I love Canada. I really do.

September Chris and I celebrated our 7 year anniversary.

October saw Chris getting a new job with a lumber brokerage. We also went to Wisconsin for Eric and Misty's reception. AND we bought Cresmoor - our new house.

November - we moved into Cresmoor the week before Thanksgiving.

December - Had a housewarming/my birthday/Christmas party. Lost a good friend to a tragic accident. When I think about it, I feel a huge hole. Celebrated Christmas. Thanked GOD that this year was almost over.

Yeah, yeah. It doesn't sound that bad. But trust me, I'm SO glad it's over. I'm over it!

So one of my plans (not resolution, cause that seems to jinx it) is to post at least once a week. Let's see what I can do! And feel free to call me out!

Merry Chrismahanukwanzukkah!

I want to wish all of my friends and family a very Happy Holiday - no matter how you celebrate.

My son is on his way via Santa Southwest, and I am looking around at my house and it is finally done! I've finally finished holiday preparations. I made 7 1/2 dozen chocolate chip cookies, raspberry crumb bars, chocolate peanut butter bars, and peanut butter cookies.

I've pre-made the "Make Ahead Breakfast Casserole", it's in the fridge. The dishes are done, the kitchen is finally clean. All I have left to do is set the coffee pot.

May you and yours be thankful for all you have this year. I know I am.

No, I Haven't Run Away To My Own Island...Yet

I know, I know. Once again it's been a while since I've been here. Well see, right about October 15th is when the Moving Crazy started. I had to get my office cleaned out, packed and ready to be moved by October 31st. In the interim of doing that, I had contractors at the new space, cable installers, phone installers, furniture installers, and appliance delivery folks.

Then The Big Move happened. On Friday, October 31st, we relocated to newer, nicer digs. But it wasn't over. I had phone issues, and furniture issues. I had HVAC issues. I had unhappy people issues. I have since, hopefully, resolved most of those issues.

And now here it is, December 20. The time just completely got away from me. But I was forced to slow down this weekend. I realized as I was wrapping up some HR stuff at work that I had 61 hours of PTO yet to take. Granted, we have a very generous PTO policy - 4 weeks per year, but I can only carry over 40 hours. So between now and the end of the year, I had to find a way to take 21 hours of PTO.

So Friday I took a half day and the things I got accomplished were amazing! I finished up some stocking stuffer shopping, I got my oil changed on my car, I made a few phone calls I needed to make. I cleaned up my house, which had come to look like a fraternity house between my husband and I never being home. (I fired my cleaning lady - I need to find a new one STAT!)

I wrapped the rest of my gifts and quite honestly felt good about the day.

Then there's my husband. Last Sunday was my birthday. He had to leave to go to work at 11 a.m. and wound up spending the night at a hotel near the airport. Monday he worked late and then again on Tuesday. Wednesday he got stuck at the airport again and got home late Thursday. Friday he went to work super early (on like 4 hours of sleep), and came home late. This morning he woke up, packed a bag and was back at it again.

Why you ask?

THIS:


Yes, there are many people that are all "ooh" and "ahh" all about it, but not me. I want my husband to come home. We were supposed to attend our "Christmas With Friends" tonight, but I had to cancel for us. One, I can't make it up the hill to their house in my vehicle, and Two, I wouldn't go without my husband to something like this anyway.

Sigh. Effing Snow.

Only in Portland

Only in Portland can the worst - and I mean absolute WORST drivers on the road be flaunting Obama 08 stickers.

Gah!

Hunting

So this morning I packed up my husband and sent him on his merry way with two of his friends to go hunting. They will be gone for 6 days. Hopefully they have fun and bring back some meat. That would be nice.

So my plans are?

*Sleeping all over the bed, not just on my side.
*Eating whatever I want, whenever I want.
*Watching Lifetime or whatever I want until my eyes explode.
*Going out with the girls on Saturday night.
*Dinner with the boy child.
*Dinner with a girlfriend.
*A baby shower.

And now I am hungry, so I am going to go eat. Whatever I want. *wink*

It's Our Anniversary

Six years ago today, I was getting ready to go out on the town with my girls and have my bachelorette party.

Six years ago tomorrow, I was watching my in-laws transform my backyard into a beautiful scene set for my Rehearsal Dinner.

And six years ago Sunday, I married the love of my life, the man of my dreams, and my best friend.

Happy Anniversary honey!

Labor Day at the Coast

Last year we decided, along with two other couples, to rent a beach house at the Coast to have one last long weekend and say goodbye to summer. We had such a good time, that we decided then and there that we were going to make a tradition out of it. This year we rented a house that was brand spanking new, beautiful and well-appointed. It had a hot tub on the deck, and a great view of the beach. We had a fantastic time, just hanging out, cooking, playing games, and being with each other away from the stresses of our daily lives.

So big thanks to B&C, and E&J for making yet another memorable Labor Day weekend!

95% Stuck on Stupid

I have literally had my ass handed to me for the last two days. Handed. To me. And it's only Tuesday. Sweet Mary.

I won't go into too much detail, but let's just say that 95% of the world is stuck on stupid these past few days.

In related news, I went rafting down the Deschutes with some friends this weekend and what a blast!! I did manage to wrench my shoulder riding the bull through a couple of the falls, and I also brought home a nice sized bruise on my calf, but overall it was a fun weekend.

I'm sitting here vegging watching the Olympics, thanks to that wonder we call TiVo! Only mine is just a DVR. Love it!

Have a great week! I know I'm trying!

Confessions of a Cheater. Part I.

I have a confession. I have been cheating. For so long now my loyalties have lied with one particular product, and now I have been sucked over to the dark side. Or the light side. Whatever.

I am a coffee junkie. My husband knows it, my friends know it, my family knows it. There's no secret there. And for the longest time, the 'Bux was my supplier.

Until last week. I decided to try the new McD's Iced Coffee. Oh Em Gee people!! It's a great combo of vanilla (or your choice of caramel or hazelnut), milk and coffee, perfectly iced, perfectly roasted, perfectly YUM! And on top of the yum, it's only $2.69. A full $1.00 less than what the 'Bux charges me for what my palate has now decided is burnt coffee. Sigh.

I will probably dip my toe back in the PNW coffee powerhouse during the holidays. Unless of course, my new love decides to foray into the pumpkin spice world. Then it's going to be a cold, hard Christmas.

Things That Made Me Smile This Week

Back for another installment. I'll include the 4th of July weekend since I was a lazy ass and didn't post.

1. Spending the Fourth with my husband and setting off fireworks. Including the ones we bought. *wink*

2. Making corn pudding and getting it right. YUM.

3. Getting what could possibly be the best news ever. It's top secret until the deets are worked out, but it looks good so far.

4. The week FLYING by. I love that.

5. Wednesday night chick flick night with C. PS I Love You. Sob.

That's all I got. Hey - at least you got something right? Now have a good weekend!!

An Example of When You Cannot Rest on Your Laurels

Paging M. Night Shyamalan. I need to have a few words with you. Let's begin at the beginning.

My love affair with you started with a little gem called The Sixth Sense. Oh the twist at the end. Loved how dark the cinematography was. And that little boy - Mr. Haley Joel! What a find! What a treat! What a fantastic little actor. I found myself crying at the scene where he was locked in the little room at the top of the stairs being attacked by the dead people. Oh my mother's heart wretched for that little boy!

You tempted me with Unbreakable. You temptor you. Bruce Willis returns and Samuel L. is always a good character actor. And the twist? Oh GOD the twist was delicious! Fantastic! That Elijah caused all those tragedies so that he could find his exact opposite in the world! How perfect!

You teased me with Signs. Mel Gibson AND Joaquim Phoenix? Oh dear sweet Mary hold me. The struggle between faith and doubt. The love of family and mending broken hearts. So good. Quite possibly your best yet.

Then I fell in love with you after The Village. Yes, there were impractical parts of the movie, like how did she run so perfectly through the forest completely blind? I told those blasphemers that when you are blind, your other senses make up for it. So she had acute hearing and sense of surrounding. And of course, you brought me back Joaquim Phoenix. I wanted to tear Adrien Brody limb from limb during the stabbing scene. And I like Adrien Brody. That's when I knew you had accomplished what you set out to with that movie. And I thought I couldn't love you more than that.

Then you hit me with Lady In The Water. Wow. I was a bit disappointed. To say the least. And that's where I'll leave that.

And then this weekend. I went and completely wasted 90 minutes of my life on a little ditty you called The Happening.

First of all, I noticed that you were Writer, Producer and DIRECTOR. Well, were you absent most of the time, because either the directing was horrible or the acting was horrible and I have seen Mark Wahlberg, and Zooey Deschanel in other films, and they do NOT act like they are at their first acting class with Jack McFarland. No they do not.

Secondly - a pandemic caused by plants? Seriously? I was waiting, hoping, nay praying that there would be a good twist. Alas, not so much. I'm a little disappointed. To say the absolute least. I expect better from you. It's your fault, you set me up with The Sixth Sense. I've got a bar and you, my friend, have failed to reach it this time. I think the only thing happening in The Happening was my wretched boredom with the whole deal.

I know you will probably never see this little rant of mine, but from one completely enamored fan, I'm hurt. It's like you are completely resting on your laurels and now as long as your name is attached to a pile of cow crap, someone is going to fund it. I find that sad.

Do me a solid Mr. Shyamalan. Make me something GOOD. And put Joaquim Phoenix in it. Shirtless. That would make up for it all.

Things that Made Me Smile This Week

Here we are: at the end of another week. What made you smile this week? Here's mine:

1. Spending all day Saturday with my husband. We shopped, ate lunch, and hung out. We rented a movie and just enjoyed being together.

2. My bike ride with C on Wednesday. Good times.

3. My venti skinny caramel latte. Tastes good and 1/3 the fat and calories of a caramel macch.

4. The last-minute camping trip we decided to go on. Yee-haw!

5. My husband coming home last night after being away for work all week. And subsequently waking up next to him this morning. That really made me smile!

Have a great weekend!

My Friend Jack.

Last night I met a few friends up at a local watering hole for some libations. It was G's birthday, and we were having a low-key celebration.

One of G's friends - I'll call him Jack (for reasons you will find out sooner rather than later, and then want to wash your eyes out with bleach, or laugh heartily, depending on whether or not you are one of MY friends) - wound up joining us. G's a cute little thing, but sometimes the stuff that just flies out of her mouth, especially when fueled by fire water, is insane.

I need to give you a little background first. The first time I met Jack, the first thing G told me about him was that he liked to walk the otter. Twice a day. Like clockwork. Oh - you aren't familiar with that phrase? Well, how about milk the snake? Lap-based web-browsing? Getting some air nookie? Shaking your fist at the ex-girlfriend? Tickling your Elmo? Are you getting it now?

So this is the first thing I learn about Jack. And trust me, there was no shame in his game. He didn't care. It was his, he could play with it if he wanted to! That aside, and I'm not even sure it needed to be an aside, he seems like a nice enough guy. Healthy. Cleaned out. **wink**

Last night Jack joined us for G's birthday. And she took it upon her self to remind me about his daily habit. I gotta hand it to him (no pun intended), he's pretty ok with it. I told him his urologist was certainly going to appreciate the cleanliness when it was time for that exam.

But see, G had been drinking wine, and then joined us all for cocktails, and she started polling the boys: Sock or shower? Which do you use? I was pleasantly surprised to learn that there were a clean bunch of boys, who all used the shower.

Except J - who called home to get his girl to draw him a bath.

Things That Made Me Smile This Week

In an effort to live a more positive and productive life, I am going to try and post once a week on things that made me smile that week.

Here we go:

1. When I was at the Outlets with my son this week, I was waiting outside the restrooms for him to come out. Standing there waiting for his wife to come out was an elderly gentleman. When his wife emerged from the bathroom, he lit up, grinning from ear to ear. She smiled sweetly back at him and he gently put his hand on her back, guiding her outside the restroom door. It was a very tender and touching moment, and I am glad I got to witness it.

2. I was getting my coffee this morning and I go to a Starbucks that is inside a grocery store. As I came out, there was a woman tying her dog up so she could run inside. She was loving on him so much, telling him what a good boy he was, and that she loved him and she would be right back. That made me smile.

3. My boss told me I was a genius. That made me smile.

4. My son is becoming a responsible, mature, caring individual. He displayed it in so many ways this week. That made me smile.

5. My husband took me to McMenamins for dinner on Thursday and we had a tough, but honest conversation. Believe it or not, it made me smile.

Look around you and be aware of the things that make you smile each day. They are more important than the things that make you frown.

I Weep Sometimes for the Future Generations

We're so dialed in, plugged in and turned on. We email, IM, blog and post. We get our news from the homepage of CNN.com, our bank balances online, and the weather through the computer screen.

Gone are the days when a handwritten note or invitation came in the mail. Evite's are as plentiful as spam, oh so abundant and raiding your inbox like ants at a picnic.

Today is the birthday of a friend of mine. I sent her an eCard first thing this morning. It was from Hallmark, so doesn't that count? Granted, we are all going to dinner later, and I have a gift and a handmade card, but what does it say about me that I sent her an eCard?

When I received a gift from a relative, I sat down and wrote a letter of thanks. Now, my son simply makes a phone call, or sends an email. Am I ok with it? I guess it's better than no thanks at all.

I see tweens and teens alike walking through the mall and texting their little fingers off. All while carrying on a conversation with their companions. Even my mother-in-law is into the texting game. I'll admit, it's a lot easier to text someone when you only have one little thing to say.

The other night my husband was in the bedroom watching TV, while I was on the laptop and my son was in his room on his PSP, playing an online game with some of his friends. I realized at that moment, that we are too dialed in. Too plugged in. Too reliant on electronic communicado.

So this week, unplug, untune, and spend some quality time. It's not forever.

It's The End of the World as We Know It

...and I am skeered.

It's June peeps. JUNE. The first day of summer is around the corner. Apparently, someone forgot to inform Oregon. Or Mother Nature. That bitch.

We had SNOW up on Mt. Hood last week. S-N-O-W. You know, that white stuff that falls to the ground when it's too godforsaken cold to rain? Yeah, that.

In June.

Have I mentioned it's June?

So I laugh every morning at our weather forecasters. Meteorologists. Lying whorebags. They keep promising me that it will be sunny and 68. Lying liars who LIE. That's what I say.

It's so bad that we have a name for it. Up here in the PNW, (Pacific NorthWest, cause I know SOMEONE is going to email me about that shiz) we are calling it JUNuary. It's been cold, and rainy, and wet. And miserable.

That noose in the garage? It's nothing, keep moving.

But today - TODAY - the meteorologistlyingwhorebag told me it was going to be Sunny! And 68! I went out to run errands at lunch and guess what? There was some bright light out there, the likes of which I haven't seen here in, oh, since the 3rd of A Long Time Ago. I actually had to put on my sunglasses. Seriously!

Anyway. According to the weather forecaster guy, it's supposed to be in the high 70's and SUNNY this weekend. It better be. Or else the national news is going to have a headline similar to "Oregon Woman Goes Crazy and Kills Meteorologist".

Hand to God.

Losing Myself

I am trying to lose weight. Trying being the operative word. I've changed my diet, I've started going to the gym on a regular basis (Ok, so the last three weeks don't count - see post below this one!), and I've not been so stressed.

With that being said, no one has informed my brain and my sweet tooth that I am drastically cutting my caloric intake of chocolate, sugar, and caramel. They are mad.

I've changed my caramel macchiatto (300 calories, 70g of fat, 43g carbs (I KNOW, RIGHT!) to a skinny caramel latte (160 calories, 0g of fat, 24g carbs). I've bought Jello Sugar Free Dulce de Leche pudding, I've stocked up on natural snacks like Pirate Booty and Sun Chips. I've even cut out my full sized chocolate candy bars for the fun size. I have to keep the brain and sweet tooth quiet somehow.

So what I have found is that the weight is coming off, slowly but surely. I only have about 20 pounds to go, which, when you say it out loud, doesn't really seem like a lot. Seeing as how I've only lost ten in six months, it seems a bit daunting to me.

But I can do it, I know I can. I put on a shirt that I haven't worn in a while this morning and it's loose! That excited me. The little things. The little victories.

Celebrate with me. Dance a little.

Why Am I Paying Rent?

Since May 21, the Coyote and her Den have actually slept in their home a total of 6 nights. In three weeks. The remaining nights have been spent in far-away exotic places. Well, ok, not necessarily exotic (or far away for that matter), but certainly NOT in my own bed. First there was the va-kay to Cabo, which I know, I can't complain about. Then the trip to Phoenix for the boy's graduation ceremony. I know, again, I can't complain.

This past weekend, we took a trip to Denver so the boys could attend Fan Fair at Mile High. For those of you who don't speak football, it's an annual fair put on by the Denver Broncos wherein millions and millions (ok, maybe not millions, but it looked and felt like it) of fans can see and speak to present and past players. There are autograph and photo opportunities, merchandise out the wa-hoo, and the ever popular, Punt, Pass and Kick competition. For kids and adults. Although besides the obvious age advantage, I'm not so sure they needed to distinguish between "kids" and "adults". Have you ever seen what happens to perfectly mature men when they get to stand on the same turf as their football heros? I promise you, there's no "adult" mentality going on there!

Such is the story of what my two boys got to do this weekend. They are both very big Bronco fans. So my younger boy got to participate in the PP&K competition. As his very proud mama watched from the stands, my boy threw a PERFECT spiral. Long, and lean. And trust me, I'm not just biased. People all around me were marveling at the arm on that kid. Especially since he weighs about 97 pounds soaking wet. He's long and lean! And has an arm! Who would have thought that PSP, PS3 and Nintendo would do that to a boy?

Then my older boy (aka the Hub)got to take the field for a Field Goal. Oh the look in his eye as he stepped onto Mile High Turf. He stood back, kicked, and into the stands it went! He could have dropped back at least another ten yards and he would have been good. I was cheering like it was the Superbowl winning kick! Point being, my husband kicked a field goal at Mile High Stadium. Not many people can actually say that.

Yesterday we toured the Celestial Seasonings and Coors factories. No, they aren't neighbors. They aren't even in the same town. Although, that would be sort of funny. In my own twisted course of thought. You know.

So a tired Family came home late last night and the Coyote and her Field Goal kicking Superstar husband had to work today. My lucky little man is at home, relaxing.

I need some sleep. In my own bed. For more than three nights in a row. *wink*

It's Why I Shave My Legs

Ahhh. Spring. The time of the year when the birds chirp, the flowers bloom, and the razors are blazing! If you are a man reading this, DON'T read on. It may scar you for life.

Women - are ya with me? We only shave on a consistent basis, when it's warm and we're going to be wearing skirts, dresses, shorts and capris. It's true. Admit it and feel the load lift.

So this morning I decided to wear a dress to work, so I shaved in the shower. I got out and was getting ready and my baby girl kitty came in, as she always does in the mornings, to let me know what she had planned for the day. She likes to come in and mouth to me, she's so talkative. She tells me all about how she plans on taking a nap, eating, taking a nap, getting some water, taking a nap, chasing her brother around the house, and then taking a nap. She has a hard life I tell ya.

So this morning as she is telling me her nap schedule, she's winding herself in a figure eight in between my legs. Nothing feels better than soft kitty fur winding itself between freshly shaven legs. NOTHING. It's soft. It's highly-sensitive, because there's perfect fur to skin contact, and it's one of the joys of owning a cat. She's precious.

Except at 5 in the morning when she jumps up on my chest purring at me because she thinks it's time to get up. Then she's a punk.

We Are The Champions

For the past 34 weeks, C, N, and I have been bowling on Monday nights on a women's league. We bowled our final night last night, and we took home the trophy. We were league champions!! First place baby! Numero Uno! We each won a little cash, had a good time, and felt really proud of ourselves and our accomplishments!

For the past three weeks, TLC has been at the bowling alley filming episodes for Little People, Big World. The Roloff Family lives in the Metro Portland area and Amy bowls on our league. My husband knows the Roloff's since they fly Southwest quite a bit, so it was nice to see the action. I signed a waiver, so you might be seeing me on a TV near you soon. I'll keep you posted. I'm the one in the pink "Dolls With Balls" shirt! **wink**

With that, I bid you adieu. The Coyote will be on va-kay for the next week. Talk to you when I get back!!

Cold Stone: Creamery of the gods; and OMG! DH!!

I've been pretty disciplined for the last five months with my diet and exercise. And it's paid off. I've lost some weight, but mostly toned up in places where I was getting a bit "jiggly".

This weekend was HOT. Like playing shadow tag with 100 degrees hot. We had a busy weekend, with cueing, playing golf, hanging out, and doing yardwork. So on Sunday night the Hub and I decided to head to Cold Stone for a date.

Walking into Cold Stone Creamery you are instantly transported to heaven. The smells, the mix-ins, the possibilities! They are endless. So he grabbed a Peanut Butter Cup sensation and I had the Coffee Lovers Delight. Or whatever they're called.

I woke up this morning .8 pounds heavier. No more for me!!

************************************************************************************

Did you WATCH the season finale of Desperate Housewives last night? I. Was. On. The. Floor!! Warning - possible spoilers ahead:

SUSAN! Dear GAWD get it together and STICK WITH ONE MAN.
Gaby: Honey. Just because you have kids doesn't mean you get to let yourself go.
Bree: Get some girl!
Lynette: Wow. You need to get it together and get your boys some serious help. Shielding them from the law after the fire, not so much a good idea.
Katherine: You actually endeared yourself to me tonight.

Speaking of Season Finale's - what about CSI? Holy craptastic batman! I did NOT see that coming.

Partly Cloudy, 93.

Ten days to go.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all of the mom's out there.

The Ten Day Forecast

We at the Coyote are getting ready to head out on a well-deserved Mexican vacation. We're going with two of our best friends, who happen to be married to each other. See how wonderfully life works out? We'll get some sun, lounge by the pool, drink mas tequila, eat and shop. We're going deep sea fishing one day, and then the boys are going to go again, while the girls head into town and garner some treasures. At a reduced price of course.

So we've been having the countdown for months now. As of today, we leave in 13 days. So my husband decided to check out the Ten Day Forecast. Today, it's going to be 94 in Cabo. Can I tell you what the high in PDX was today? Somewhere around 53. That's a 41 degree difference. Fourty-one. Fourty. PLUS ONE. There is no culture shock like leaving the cold and entering the tropics. None. Makes you want to strip to your skivvies and jump in an ice cold drink. But the Federales frown on that kind of behaviour at the airport. Don't ask, I just know.

So I can imagine that we'll be on top of that Ten Day Forecast for the next 12 days. But do we care? As I said to my husband - That's what the pool is for!

Merrily We Go Round

Two days into my new job, my assistant decides to tell me she is interviewing for the state of Oregon. This makes complete sense to me, and let me tell you why. She graduated Magna Cum Laude from OSU, with a degree in Economics. And here she sits, making slave wage, being my assistant. I've got to hand it to the girl, she needs to use that head of hers. So she is.

She just walked in here, and told me she got the job. I was the first person she told, but **shhh** don't tell her husband. She wanted to call her mom after she told me, but I advised her to call her hubby first. She came back in blushing and thanked me for the good advice, because he really appreciated the first call.

I said first call. She didn't call me, she walked over and told me. So he was the first call. Stop looking at me like that.

So now I have to recruit, interview and hire another assistant. In 11 days. Oh, she's giving me until the 28th, but see, I am going to be on a little vacation from the 21st to the 28th. So with the holiday, that takes about 6 interview days out of the equation. And besides, I want to hire someone soon so she can train them. And then there's the little matter of moving some people around, because I want the new person to be at the front desk. It's beyond stressful.

I know, I know, I bought, closed, and moved into a house in 12 days when we lived in CT. A-ha you say? Yes, but that's ALL I did for those 12 days: inspections, appraisals, attorneys. It consumed my day.

So here I go - getting ready to write an ad for a new Executive Assistant. Wish me luck!

*Cough, Cough* Clearing Out the Cobwebs

OK! I know! I haven't been here in AGES. I'm pretty sure that if this blog were a bar, there would be a little guy in the corner with a beer who died three months ago. It's bad.

Here's the thing. I cannot believe it's May. And not only May, but May 6th already!

So let's recap. I visited in February to let you all know about my fantasmic job offer. Well, let me tell you about that job. Not so much. They were leveraging their receivables to pay payables and that's never a good idea, know what I mean (and I think you do)? Besides that, they have an antiquated accounting system that still runs in a DOS-based program, and they had just gotten the General Journal program installed and were working out the bugs. As they say in my favorite country, no est a bien.

So they hired a Controller, and I took my leave. Which is fine. One door closes and all that. So I promptly started at a non-profit organization. I don't get to wear jeans every day, but the perks definitely outweigh the bad in this one. I love my job, I like the people, my boss is super laid back. He's younger, which I think is important in today's day and age as we need to keep the finger on the pulse of employee appreciation. Since I've started, we had our Administrative Professionals Appreciation Day, I scheduled a Cinco de Mayo luncheon for everyone yesterday, and I'm working on implementing a summer hours schedule.

Much to my amazement, this new brand of stress reduction has really shown through in my personal life. I'm not as edgy, my bowling scores have improved (I bowled a 600 series this season!), and I'm losing weight. And feeling great.

So with this new brand of stress reduction in my life, I am going to try really hard to blog at least once a week. Bear with me dear reader, I'm navigating yet another new course.

Besides, we're looking for a house to buy right now. That should be enough blog fodder for a while, agreed?

I Really Need to Learn to Give it to God

Really. My biggest problem is that I am a control freak. I need to feel in control of my life. And that causes more problems sometimes than it helps.

I see that my last post there - below this one - on January 25th I was feeling sorry for myself. I thought that with all of my efforts and perseverance, I would land myself a job. I left out the most important part though - I forgot to put it in God's hands. Of course, I still needed to do the work, but giving it up to Him was a missing piece.

Don't get me wrong, you can't simply sit back and say "OK Lord, do your thing", because that doesn't work either. You still have to do the leg work, but give it to Him, and the leg work won't feel that hard.

Shortly after I wrote that post - I received a phone call from an employment agency. I started a job on Tuesday the 29th. It's considerably more pay than my previous slave wages, and I get to wear jeans every day if I wish.

I was humbled, and reminded that the Lord works in mysterious ways. Yes, He does.

The Job Search Continues

Who would have thought that I would still be sitting here, two weeks after I left my job, still waiting on an answer from a job I interviewed for? Such is the turn of events that is my life. Un-freakin-real.

Happy New Year! 2008 Resolutions...

Resolutions. We hear we should make them, we hear we should keep them, we hear 50% of people don't. So why bother?

I'll admit, I fell off the wagon over Christmas. If you count Christmas as December 1 - 31. I went to the gym maybe twice? And I ate. Oh boy did I eat. That's the bad thing about Christmas, is the food. It's so....fat. But it's so GOOD. We were busy every weekend, with parties, and visiting friends, and my birthday smack dab in the middle there.

But now it's the new year. It's two thousand effing eight! How did that happen? Chris and I met before the new millenium even begun, and now we're 8 years into it!

So I got back on the wagon. I'm on a new low GI (Glycemic Index) eating plan, and I am back at the gym. Along with this new attitude will soon come a new job. I gave my notice to my current employer on November 30th. My last day will be January 11th. I know, I'm a nice girl, I let them find someone and I am staying for a week to train. Can we say "dragging our feet"?

So I have an interview tomorrow and I am super excited about it. Wish me luck faithful readers!

Some Holiday Diet Tips - Enjoy!

HOLIDAY EATING TIPS

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Have a great Christmas!

Making Changes

Life is all about change. We grow, we change, we move on.

I gave my notice at work on Friday. I couldn't handle the work style of my boss anymore. The last-minute, unprepared, lost paperwork boss. The stress and the uncertainty of each of my days finally got the best of me.

I would be more disappointed in myself had I not been the third admin he's gone through. Uno, dos, tres. Me. I was tres. I'm angry that I have to be the one to look for a new job, but relieved that I won't have that stress anymore.

We are headed out of town for the Christmas holiday, and that makes me happy. Then we will come back and I will hit the job hunt hard.

Making changes.

His Nobel Peace Prize is in the Mail

I am reminded, in little and big ways, every day, how wonderful my husband is, and how lucky I am that God brought him to me. He's my biggest supporter, my biggest fan, my greatest cheerleader, and he's smokin' hot! So that helps.

We had a small bridal shower at work today for one of the girls here who is getting married. Again. For the third time. What you need to know, though, is that this girl has had a tough life. I won't go into details, but there are perfectly good reasons that she ran smack dab into the middle of two bad relationships, and didn't realize it until after midnight when she tried to feed them.

At the little shower, we were all sitting around talking and she asked me how long I had been married. I told her 5 years, but that we would be together for 9 this March. Since I was the one person in the room who had been married the longest, she asked me how I did it. She also knows that I have been married before.

That's when my friend C interrupted and said "Because he's an awesome husband." I agreed. He is an awesome husband. He's a great friend, he's a wonderful (step)father, and he's a good son. I told her "See, my husband is SUPER laid back. And I, well, I tend to get a little riled up sometimes." To which the room chuckled, because it's true, I can be intense (or so I have been told). And my husband grounds me. He brings me back down when I am on the edge. He makes me realize that maybe, just maybe, I am getting all out of sorts for no reason. But, he'll also be the one to confirm when I have all the right in the world to be upset. He balances me out.

That's not to say we don't have our problems. I won't let him do laundry. And there's a REASON behind that. He doesn't let me clean the bathrooms. And there's a REASON behind that. Those who have known us the longest know that we just click, mesh, blend.

He keeps me sane. And for that, I love him more than he'll ever know.

WBS

Recently I was in a discussion with a wonderful group of ladies on a private board I belong to and one of them said that she had WBS. Wanker Boss Syndrome. I adore that! Big shout-out to the Shev-meister, Breaker of Beds! *wink*

It was then that I realized, *I* have WBS. A huge, ginormous case of it. I then got to wondering - how many more of us have WBS? Is there an epidemic just running rampant in this country of WANKER BOSSES? It is very similar in symptoms to IBS, which is Irritable Bowel Syndrome - so I decided to do a side-by-side comparison. Strap in readers, this one is going to be fun!

• IBS is a common disorder of the intestines that leads to crampy pain, gassiness, bloating, and changes in bowel habits.

• WBS is a common disorder of your sanity that leads to your boss being a huge pain in your ass.

• IBS can cause constipation, diarrhea, or both. People may experience a crampy urge to move the bowels but cannot.

• WBS can cause aggravation, annoyance, or both. People may experience a crampy urge to lift their hand and slap the offending party upside the head, but cannot.

• IBS causes a great deal of discomfort and distress, but it does not cause permanent harm to the intestines.

• WBS causes a great deal of discomfort and distress to the employee, but does not cause permanent harm to the offending party.

• IBS is often a mild annoyance, but for some people it can be disabling.

• WBS is sometimes a mild annoyance, and sometimes can cause disability to control the amount of drinking you do after work every night.

• IBS can be treated with fiber supplements or laxatives. Some prescription drugs that control muscle spasms and slow movement of food through the digestive system can also be prescribed.

• WBS can be treated with a fifth of rum and a long week partying in Puerto Rico. Some prescription drugs may be able to help also.

See the similarities? I thought so.

6th Circle of Hell, or Post Office Madness

I had a few errands to run this morning, so once I peeled myself out of bed, I gathered myself into what resembled a respectable appearance (meaning I actually washed my face) and I was off.

I picked up a caramel mach at the 'Bux, and mosied over for a pedi. After that I headed to the mall to Bath and Body Works to pick up my check from my part time job, and spend some monies. Onward to the bank to deposit said check, and then off to Tarjay to get some weenie candy.

I was feeling pretty good about the fact that I had accomplished so much, so I decided to head home and get some more laundry done. I pulled into my driveway, gathered my belongings, and headed to the mailbox. Nothing spectacular, a couple of bills, my Williams Sonoma catty, which is always a good time, and some junk.

I headed up to my house. And that's when I saw it. The subpoena of torture. Stuffed so nonchalantly into the crevice between my door and the door jamb. My decree of execution. I had missed a delivery of an Express Package from the United States Post Office. BUT - I could come pick it up! Just head down to the good ole PO! And so, I did.

Let me just say that I don't think the post office is terrible, per se; I do think that the majority of the clientele were dropped on their heads, repeatedly, as infants.

And today was no different.

I get there at 2:15. They close at 3:00. I am probably fifth in line. Not bad, right? These PO employees are rockin through people. Getting them in, out and on their way. I was getting glad in my pants! I'm gonna get out of here in a reasonable.....screech! What's that? Oh! Dumbass, party of one, two people in front of me.

He gets called to the counter and the ensuing conversation went like this:

Postal Worker: Can I help you?
Mr. Out on a Day Pass: I got this notice in the mail that I have a package and need to pick it up.
PW: Do you have the notice with you sir?
Mr. Clueless: No, but I can give you my address.
PW: Sure. (She grabs a piece of paper) Go ahead.
Mr. Should Have Taken His Meds: Uh..let's see...16100 SW Sorry Ass Excuse for a Human Lane, Tigard.
PW: Is that 97223, or 97224? We have two zip codes for Tigard.
Mr. How Does This Man Function in Society: Uh - uh......um....ooh. Uh - how about let's try 97223. That should be it.

Conversation in my head: SHOULD be it? You don't know your own freaking ZIP CODE? Are you kidding me? This is going to be great blog fodder!

PW: OK sir, I will go look, I'll be right back
Mr. Dumbass: OK.

Postal Worker goes to look for package, but I am suspecting it wasn't a Herculean effort, if you know what I mean.

PW: I am sorry sir, I cannot find it. Do you remember what box was marked on the notice? Was it a letter, parcel, package, box? (Hands him a sample notice and he looks it over)
Mr. Holy Shit, Could He Be Any Stupider: Ummm...let's go with package.

At this point folks, the line is starting to get annoyed. Why in the HELL do people insist on wasting other people's time by not coming to the game prepared? WHY? So this time, the conversation wasn't in my head, it was out of my mouth: "Let's go with? How about let's go with go get the damn notice!" The guy in front of me chuckles. Asshat at the counter doesn't even turn around at this point. I think he could feel the gamma rays of death that the people in line were shooting him. Oh - and the best part? It's 2:40 now. Seriously!

PW: I am sorry sir, I cannot find it without the number on the notice.
Mr. Needs a Kevlar Vest to Leave the Building at This Point: Oh. Well, ok, it's really not a big deal I guess. I can go home and see if I can find the notice. Thanks!

Dum dum leaves without a single glance at anyone in line. Good luck in the parking lot buddy, I'm pretty sure I saw someone heading out there with a blanket and a baseball bat.

So I finally get my package and go home. Where I decided to blog the entire experience. Cause it was SO incredibly unbelievable.

But you know what they say: Truth is stranger than fiction!

Et Tu, McDonald's?

It's been one of those months here. One obstacle after another. I'm a bit stressed at work (mostly due to the workload, partly due to the fact that I HATE what I am doing). Granted, I don't hate everything I am doing, but I do hate some parts of it.

So today being a particularly crappy day, what with SO annoying co-workers and crappy service from one of our wholesalers, I decided McDonald's was in order for lunch. I know, bad girl. But sometimes, I just want some goddamned french fries, OK?

So I go. I ordered the Chicken Selects meal and a diet Dr. Pepper. Go ahead, roll your eyes now. So I get my order and go back to my office. I unpack the fries (YUM!) and the chicken selects. I then dump my box of fries in the top compartment of my chicken selects box. And that's when I see it. The fry box has a Nutrition label on it.

What. The. Fuck.

McDonalds is comfort food. Food you KNOW is bad for you but that every once in a while, you just need to have. I don't NEED the nutrition facts. I already know that I have most certainly eaten my week's worth of carbs and fat halfway through that box o' fries. I don't need to SEE that I've done it. It's like going through a haunted house with the lights on. Yeah, I know that actors are fake, but do I really need to have it spelled out for me? No.

So I propose that Mickey D's do us all a favor - or at least the ones who don't frequent the place. (Which would exclude all the whiskey tango people that think eating there is a night out) Offer the "Eyes Wide Open" or "Eyes Wide Shut" value option. I'd like mine shut please.

Thank you.

I'm Surrounded By Idiots

I swear sometimes that my doctor doesn't listen to me. I have repeatedly let them know what our plan is for getting knocked up again. Clomid, ultrasound monitoring, HCG trigger shot, and then insemination.

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

So why is it that every single time I call, she's trying to throw something else at me? She mentioned injectables, we decided we don't want to go that route quite yet. Next thing I know, I am getting a call from IVFMeds.com letting me know my meds are ready to ship. The convo was fabulous.

Me: Meds? I didn't order any meds from you.
IVF: No, your doctor called it in for you.
Me: Well, I don't know why she did that, we have decided not to go that route right yet
IVF: Well, I'll just put them on hold for you...
Me: No, go ahead and cancel them. I won't be ordering them.
IVF: (with a decidedly nastier tone in her voice) Look, I'm just the middle man. I'm just saying that I'll put them on hold....
Me: (with a decidedly nastier tone in my voice) Well, I don't care who you are. I asked you nicely to just cancel the order. You can hold it until the cows come home, we aren't going that route. And by the way, if we ever DO decide to go that route, I sure as HELL will not be ordering from you.
**CLICK**

Really? Seriously? This is who IVF Meds has representing them? Gah!

So I call my doctor, and explain for what seems like the eleventy billionth time, that we are not going that route.

I know right now you are probably thinking - get a new doc! A-ha! If it were only that easy! See, my insurance doesn't cover fertility. They cover elective abortions, but not fertility. They'll cover you if your kid has a kid, but not fertility. They'll cover effing VIAGRA for crying out loud, but they don't cover fertility. Can ya tell it chaps my ass a bit?

So, this is the only RE in the area that accepts my insurance (what she can bill, she does, like diagnostic ultrasounds, lab work, etc.), and so I go to her.

So that's my story.

So far.

A little catchup time

So I was just reading over my old posts and realized that I really need to catch you up on what's been going on.

So yeah, last we left the happy couple, they had finally managed to get knocked up. Three years of waiting and they were pregnant! Oh, and they were moving back to Phoenix. But (insert sinister music here) not for long.

So we went back to Phoenix, and things were going great. Until, that is, my January checkup appointment with the OB. He couldn't find the heartbeat, and after ultrasound confirmation, we discovered that we had lost the baby. Heartbreaking as it was then, and still is, Chris and I have given it up to God and moved on.

In March, we loaded up the moving truck (again) and relocated to Portland. Land of the Ports. And the lagers and the stouts and the ales.

So here we are - in the rainy PNW. And getting ready to go another round of IUI.

I guess that's it. Stay tuned for more.

And we're on in three...two..one.

So after a lot of consideration and some good thoughts from my sister, I decided to reopen the blog. The miscarriage that Chris and I suffered in January was probably one of the hardest things we have ever had to face as a married couple, and I think we came through it with flying colors.

So now I have decided to journal and share about this struggle with infertility. As most of you know, I have a quick wit and a sharp tongue, so if you are easily offended, well, then you must not be one of my friends, cause them bitches don't give a.....

Oh yeah, family show.

So if you want to read of the sometimes humorous, sometimes heartbreaking journey that my husband and I are on trying to produce a youngin, then read on fellow member. Read on.

If not, I don't need your comments, or your opinions. It's MY blog, which means I get to post what I want to. So neener.

**wink**

Checking In - 10 Weeks

So I am at 10 weeks, 5 days. The fatigue is starting to subside. The nausea is also starting to subside. I still, however, cannot eat a full meal at one sitting. I have to space out the food. This whole drinking 8 glasses of water a day thing has me irritated. I need to buy some flavored water. That will get it in me faster. I just don't like plain water. Never have.

Chris and I bought some baby blankets. We also bought some onesies. We were at Carter's and they were having a 50% off everything in the store sale. We won't find out what we are having until the beginning of March, so we went neutral with the blankets.

We had our first ultrasound on December 13th, so I got to see the baby's heartbeat as an early birthday present! It was beating at 143. And yes, there is only one in there.

We go on Wednesday 1/10 for my next check-up. Hopefully we'll be able to hear the baby's heartbeat.

That's all for now. Stay tuned.

It's Official. I am Knocked Up!

Fertility and the reproductive system of the female body are my specialty. No, I am not a doctor, I am simply a female who has been dealing with secondary infertility for three years. I know more about the cycle and process of getting pregnant and staying pregnant then I ever thought possible.

I also knew going in to our insemination on Monday November 6th, 2006, that our chances of conceiving were slim to none. Or 12% if you want scientific fact. So when I plodded downstairs to take a pregnancy test on Wednesday November 22nd, 2006, I was fully expecting a BFN. That's Big Fat Negative to you fertile folk.

So for what seemed like the eleventy billionth time, I peed on a stick, placed it on the counter, and finished doing what I needed to do. I got up, turned to look (it wasn't even 30 seconds later) and there it was. A BFP. (Big F-ing Positive. Cause at this point, you use the F word). I couldn't even believe my own eyes. I swear I stood there looking at it for at least three hours. But it was only a few minutes. After years of trying and a solid 5 months of poking, prodding, and various medical crapola, we had effing done it!! 12% chance of getting pregnant on the first try and lo and EFFING behold, we did it!!!

I raced upstairs to my still-sleeping husband (have I mentioned it was 6:00 AM?) and threw the lights on. By this time I am a blubbering idiot. "WE FREAKING DID IT!!" I am screaming at the poor guy, who is still trying to adjust to the overhead glare. "HOLY SHIT! We freaking did it!!" Chris had a huge grin on his face, he looked at the stick and said "Well look at that."

Fast forward to 7:00 AM when I made him take me to CVS to buy another test. I bought a two-pack and thank the good Lord above that I did, cause I screwed the first one up. Yeah, yeah, don't ask me how, I just DID. So now I had to wait until I had to pee again to take the last one. It was a digital test, and the word "PREGNANT" came up within thirty seconds.

We did it. We effin did it.

Last Stand at the OK Corral

Today was my last official day at work. It just completely snuck up on me. Three weeks ago I was looking at my last day and thinking it was so far off, and now Turkey Day is a mere 5 days away.

It was a bittersweet day today. I went to my last Staff Standup Meeting. I met with my boss and the new Corporate Sales Manager, and our other Manager to "pass the torch". I wrote ONE more contract today. I cleared out the office. My co-workers took me to lunch and then got me an ice cream cake. Then I made the rounds and started the semi-painful process of saying good bye.

There will be a lot I will miss about my time at the Hotel. There will be some things I will NOT miss. Overall, it was tough to leave, but a big relief all at the same time.

We Go Live in Three...Two...One...

Chris left this morning. He got on a plane and headed out west sucka! I don't know why, but I always have to say 'sucka' when I say 'headed out west'.

He called me just a minute ago and said the words I knew he would eventually say. "There's no way we can live with my parents. They have too much stuff!" In the interest of maintaining a positive relationship with his parents, and having a little privacy, we're going to (GASP) Rent An Apartment!!!

OMG! I feel like I am 19 again and have to rent because I can't afford a house. Sweet Mary. I guess I have to keep reminding myself that we OWN a house. We just haven't been able to SELL the house.

However, now I have something big to look forward to. Our own place. Somewhere where I can unpack all of my stuff. And make it my own.

Look for me in the Valley at an apartment complex near you.

They Took My Car...Again

So part of the whole relo package with the company is that they ship one car. Which is fine, because Chris and I are actually looking forward to driving across the country. Again. After all, the first time we did it, we may have just missed something. Though I doubt it.

Such was my story this morning. After another fitful night with no sleep (I just do NOT sleep well when my husband is not here), I woke at about three in the morning to the pounding of the rain on the roof. It always rains when we move. When we moved from Phoenix to San Diego, it POURED on the drive over. When we moved from San Diego to Connecticut, it POURED for eight straight days. And now we are getting ready to leave and it is POURING. I am seeing a pattern, though I am not quite sure yet what it means.

I had received a phone call from the auto shippers last night stating that my pickup would be between 9:00 and 12:00. Okie dokie. So here I sat, watching the rain, waiting for my car to be picked up. At around 11:20 (of course), I saw the mini carrier pull up. As I stood in the rain, waiting for him to finish the paperwork, so that I could get to work, it hit me.

We're moving.

I was at once anxious, and excited, and nervous. My palms started sweating and I felt dizzy. Should we really be leaving before the house is settled? I mean, it was ok when we lived in San Diego, because Phoenix was only an hour plane ride. Now we will be 5 hours away. And two time zones. It's all quite overwhelming.

I take a deep breath. It's only the start.

I'm BACK!

So I've decided that I'm going to keep up with this thing. I need a creative outlet and this one affords me the opportunity to do just that.

So what's been happening....let me think. Oh yeah! We're MOVING BACK TO PHOENIX!!!

We are so very thrilled to be moving back, we never thought we would be. However, the move will afford us some opportunities that we wouldn't have had here in Connecticut. And we are very excited about that. Add in the fact that Chris and I met, fell in love and were married in Phoenix, well, that's a big plus. And then there is all of our friends and family that is in Phoenix. Which is a huge plus.

The pros definitely outweight the cons on this one.

Fertility

Is a long and arduous journey. And one that I never in my life imagined that I would EVER be going on. However, a series of unfortunate events has led me down this path of blood tests and ultrasounds, Clomid and Ovidrel.

It is what it is and both Chris and I seem to have accepted that, both of us determined to do what it takes to get through this and get what we want. I guess that's half the battle.